What the ?@#!*

I'm sitting in my office trying to figure out a schedule for the classes for a program I have coming in. I am getting very frustrated because I am having a hard time staying focused. I have been working on this schedule for 3 days now. I have to get it done.

Frustrate: To prevent from accomplishing a purpose or fulfilling a desire; thwart
Do you ever have those days where you are just not feeling it? Where your plans are constantly getting messed up. People are frustrating you and your life goals. This is making me feel a little anti-everything. This sounds extreme right? It is, but I am frustrated and I'm mostly frustrated with myself. I am the reason my plans keep getting frustrated. And I am beginning to the think that the best way to be would be to have no plans at all. I see these kinda of people all the time, the type that have no purpose or aim, being completely happy. But I've always been goal oriented and have generally found this to be a good quality. But now I am doubting this.
I found an old journal entry. Have you ever sat back and read old journal entries. The entry I read was not long after a bigger event in my life and I was stressed, feeling a bit down. As I read it all I could think was who was that girl in that entry. She was not me because I would NEVER get stressed over what she was stressed about now. It left me wondering if in 10 years I'll read things that I write now and say the same thing, I would never stress over that now.
I am anti- not saying how you feel. If you feel it, why not say it. (Nope, I don't always do this. Most of the time when it should be said I let it pass by because I'm a wuss but still)
I am anti- fakeness. Just be real. People will like you more.
I am anti- bashing. What's the point, it betters no one.
I am anti- vulnerability. Yea, maybe this is bad but I'm if you let yourself become vulnerable you leave yourself wide open to become hurt. And I just don't want to take that chance in my life right now.
Anyways, I better get back to work. I have so much to get done and very little motivation to get it done. Oh well, what can I do. At least I have a job and I am self sufficient. I guess there are a few good things to being a grown up.