Elijah Reed from momma

Dear Elijah, I started writing this earlier and was almost done when you and sissy needed me. So I put the phone down, I was blogging from it, and one of you came and deleted it all. So I'll start over.

You turned 2 today and it's hard to believe it's been 2 years! The days are long and the years are short. You came into this world a fussy little man. I am glad that you finally decided to be happy in life. Now you are full of joy and energy. There isn't a day I don't fall more in love with you. You are growing so fast and learning so much. I love hearing all your new words. You sometimes get frustrated when I can't understand you. You cock your head to the side and I'm sure you're blaming me for not knowing. 

You currently love choochoo trains. This started over the summer when your aunt Julie took you to the train museum in Sacramento. I didn't think you'd enjoy it so much but you fell in love. You also love Mickey Mouse clubhouse. And at the end when they play the "hotdog" song you make whoever is with you dance. Your Grammy danced with you about every 23 minutes this summer. Even if she was in another room you'd run to find her so she could dance with you. One of your favorite places to go right now is Nana's House. You have a lot of people who love you!

You are a great big brother. I honestly didn't think I could love 2 babies because I loved you so much. But when Madelynn came, my heart grew. You and sissy are best friends. I love watching you play together. You two laugh at each other and love each other so much. You love to hold her. Elijah, I'm not even sure I can begin to tell you the joy you've brought into my life. I love you so much. I know I can't keep you little forever but every once in a while I wish I could. I know there will come a day where you don't want me to hold you and I'll miss it. I love how much you need your momma right now. 

I am doing my best to take the best care of you. I want the best for you. I'd give you the world and it still wouldn't be enough. I love you. Thank you for making me smile everyday. I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as you're living my baby you'll be. 

Mommyhood

Some days I rock motherhood, like I really rock it. Three hot nutritious yummy meals, story time, play time, you name it, I am mom of the year. Then some days I suck it up. I forget to feed madelynn, Elijah is eating bread for lunch, we watch tv, they yell at me, I do my best not to get upset. I guess the point is, I'm trying. I'm trying to be the best mom and wife possible. I have my good and bad days,  I'm human. 

There are times I think, I'm ready to have baby #3, go ahead and get it done. There are other days that I think that's craziness. Like today I'm pretty much rocking mommyhood. I took the kids to the library, we went to the store but then it started raining and both kids needed me to carry them. Then I panicked, if I had baby #3 I couldn't carry them all. And Elijah is so little still. 

I'm not really sure what the point of this one is. I love being a mom. Elijah is the coolest kid ever and Maddie is following in his footsteps. They make me feel so happy and they love me unconditionally and forgive all my mommy mistakes. Maybe it's true, the best things in life can also be the hardest. I'm so grateful that almost 2 years ago we were able to welcome Elijah into our family. I'm amazed at him every day. And just 8 months ago we added Madelynn and she is growing so fast and learning so much. She has recently really found her voice and has learned the highest pitch scream when she isn't getting her way. It's super annoying but it's fun to see her discover things.