Well first of all, I still can't get on blogger from my computer. This is the reason there aren't many blog post and no updated pictures.
Now to the real blog. While I was driving to the gym last night I was thinking about being a mom and my last blog post and feeling bad about the weight. Then it hit me, a few years ago I'm pretty sure I would have given anything, I mean anything, to have the opportunity to be a mother. So no more complaining about it. If I only had to "give" 50 pounds then it'll be all good.
Brent was glad for this realization because I was just about convinced we were done having kids and he could just go ahead and get a vasectomy. Gotta love a man that loved you no matter what. And I do love love love that man.
I wish I knew what was wrong with blogger so I could do a picture update. He's grown so much.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
The honest truth
I'm a relatively happy person. I have a truly blessed life. But here recently I've been having a hard time. I was on the phone with Nae and she said something about coming to love on my fat baby and I about lost it. I never want anyone to call any of my babies fat. After we hung up I realized I know my baby is chunky but I wasn't crying because of that but because I'm fat.
I gained 80 pounds while being pregnant with Elijah. And know while I say this I wouldn't change having Elijah. He truly is a blessing in my life. I gained 20 before getting pregnant so I put on a total of 100 pounds. I've gotten 45 off but leaves me with 55 pounds to go! That's a lot of weight. I work out 6 days a week for at least 45 minutes. I count calories and never go over. This post pregnancy thing has taken a major hit on my self esteem.
I have no clothes that fit and I refuse to even try clothes on because I'm afraid of what the size will be. But at some point I will need clothes to wear. I'm embarrassed for people to see me.
And something else that kind of ticks me off is when family tells other people who have just had a baby how great they look when they never once have said it to you. I know this all sounds like a whoa unto me blog but it's not. I'm really happy with the other aspects of my life. I am happily married. I love having Elijah as my son. Some day in the near future we'll have a job and will be able to buy a home. I have a blessed life. I'm just struggling. Brent has never been mean about it. He swears he can't tell, men!?!?!, but I feel so much less attractive. So, I have this constant battle with myself about more children. I want more babies, lots of babies, but I also don't want to destroy my body over and over and over.
Anyways, just having one of those days.....or one of those months/years.
I gained 80 pounds while being pregnant with Elijah. And know while I say this I wouldn't change having Elijah. He truly is a blessing in my life. I gained 20 before getting pregnant so I put on a total of 100 pounds. I've gotten 45 off but leaves me with 55 pounds to go! That's a lot of weight. I work out 6 days a week for at least 45 minutes. I count calories and never go over. This post pregnancy thing has taken a major hit on my self esteem.
I have no clothes that fit and I refuse to even try clothes on because I'm afraid of what the size will be. But at some point I will need clothes to wear. I'm embarrassed for people to see me.
And something else that kind of ticks me off is when family tells other people who have just had a baby how great they look when they never once have said it to you. I know this all sounds like a whoa unto me blog but it's not. I'm really happy with the other aspects of my life. I am happily married. I love having Elijah as my son. Some day in the near future we'll have a job and will be able to buy a home. I have a blessed life. I'm just struggling. Brent has never been mean about it. He swears he can't tell, men!?!?!, but I feel so much less attractive. So, I have this constant battle with myself about more children. I want more babies, lots of babies, but I also don't want to destroy my body over and over and over.
Anyways, just having one of those days.....or one of those months/years.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Priesthood Power
I am truly grateful to have the priesthood in our home. Elijah has been a pretty sick baby (who would have thought since big babies are suppose to be healthy babies). Last night when I got home from the gym Brent was standing in the kitchen holding him. I looked at them and asked what is he doing awake. It was 9pm. Brent said he, Elijah, had been having shallow rapid breathes and wheezing. He was breathing about 80 per minute. I told Brent we could take him in but first we needed a Priesthood blessing. Brent didn't have any consecrated oil so we called James and he headed over.
Elijah received a blessing and I have no doubt it helped. His breathing almost instantly slowed. We debated on whether we should even take him in since the only place to go was the emergency room. We decided to take him, better safe than sorry. He was so good the entire time. He is usually very cranky if awake over 2 hours. He was awake a total of 6 hours and was pleasant the entire time. He didn't like it when they took his blood pressure. But he quickly calmed. He especially didn't like it when they stuck about 6 inches of tube in his nose to suction it out. That was heartbreaking but other than that he stayed completely calm. They thought he'd scream when they took his temp rectally, I thought he'd scream when they put the mask on. Or when they ripped the tape off. But he didn't. He was even smiling a lot. The priesthood is amazing. I hope our little guy gets to feeling better soon. It is so sad to see him feel so bad. With double ear infections, RSV, and an inguinal hernia, he's had a rough few weeks.
*on another note, blogger won't work from my computer only my iPod. It stinks and makes me not want to blog. But I have a lot to catch up on. One being our Adamson family visit.
Elijah received a blessing and I have no doubt it helped. His breathing almost instantly slowed. We debated on whether we should even take him in since the only place to go was the emergency room. We decided to take him, better safe than sorry. He was so good the entire time. He is usually very cranky if awake over 2 hours. He was awake a total of 6 hours and was pleasant the entire time. He didn't like it when they took his blood pressure. But he quickly calmed. He especially didn't like it when they stuck about 6 inches of tube in his nose to suction it out. That was heartbreaking but other than that he stayed completely calm. They thought he'd scream when they took his temp rectally, I thought he'd scream when they put the mask on. Or when they ripped the tape off. But he didn't. He was even smiling a lot. The priesthood is amazing. I hope our little guy gets to feeling better soon. It is so sad to see him feel so bad. With double ear infections, RSV, and an inguinal hernia, he's had a rough few weeks.
*on another note, blogger won't work from my computer only my iPod. It stinks and makes me not want to blog. But I have a lot to catch up on. One being our Adamson family visit.
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