Fleeting moments

I watched a video yesterday from one of the mothers of a child tragically killed in the sandy hook shooting. It hit me hard. I complain about things that are hard in motherhood. My kids don't sleep, Elijah likes to crawl into our bed at night. Sis won't sleep through the night, etc. And I realized yesterday that I need to appreciate these fleeting moments. Because one day Elijah won't want/need me to hold his hand for an hour while he sleeps, he won't want to sleep with me. And these moments are just that, moments. Moments I'll cherish. Moments I daresay I'll miss. And no one can be assured of the days we have our children with us. 

I've been truly blessed in life so far. And I want to appreciate every moment. So if sis needs me to rock her at 2am them I'll do it and if as soon as I get her back to sleep and Elijah wants me to lay on his floor and hold his hand I'll do it. Because I am the luckiest girl in the entire world. 

Cute Pictures of my Cute Family

 Just us girls. She is adorable.

 The entire Family. Melt me.

 My boys!

And Elijah being extra cute!

Thankful

I need to be better at updating our blog. There are so many pictures I should share and thoughts to express. Some of the thoughts are better kept in my head. I didn't write a gratitude post in November and I do have a lot to be grateful for. So I'll write a short list now.
1) I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows and loves me infinitely. He knows me personally and that means a lot. I know that He wants me to return to live with Him and my Heavenly Mother.
2) I am grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ. My feelings can be expressed by the song, I Stand all Amazed. I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me, Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me. I tremble to know that for me he was crucified, That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died. Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me Enough to die for me! Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me.
To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine. That he should extend his great love unto such as I, Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify.
I think of his hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt! Such mercy, such love and devotion can I forget? No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat, Until at the glorified throne I kneel at his feet.
3) I am eternally grateful for Brent LeGrand Adamson. I honestly believe that I am the luckiest wife on earth to have this man as my husband. He loves me even when I am hard to love. He is my best friend and I couldn't have made a better marriage decision. We have so much fun together! I love this man to the moon and back times infinity. We both have our faults and we don't always agree but I can't think of a time that either of us has raised our voice or said something to hurt the other intentionally. He makes me want to be the best me possible so that I can spend eternity with him.
4) I am grateful for motherhood. I have learned to love more that I thought possible. I've also learned I can function on less sleep than I thought possible. Elijah and Madelynn are 2 of the greatest gifts I have received. I pray daily that I can be the best mom possible and teach them all the things they need to know to return to our Loving Heavenly Father. I love these 2 babies so much and I never want to imagine life without them. Though I wouldn't mind using the bathroom on occasion without an audience.
5) I am grateful for our parents. Mom and Dad Eaton have taught me so much in this life. I was telling someone just yesterday how grateful I was that dad pestered me to read my scriptures and how I look forward to pestering me kids. My mom was her kids biggest advocate, even when we would have rather her not say anything. Then when I married Brent I gained 2 more parents. We decided when we first got married that both sets of parents were equally important to both of us. I got the best in laws ever. They have already taught me a lot in the past 3 years and I know I have so much more I can learn. I hope they are as happy as I am that we are family. All of my "parents" have become my friends. People I can call anytime. I love you all.
6) I am so grateful for our siblings. I know we don't always see eye to eye and sometimes I think their decisions aren't the best but I love them. Some of them are my best friends. The people I can call on the worst of days and they will listen to me. People that I can send inappropriate text to and they don't mind. Their are qualities in most of them that I would love to have. Bryant, is a super funny guy and I love hanging out with him. He made me laugh from our 1st meeting and I love him for it. Julie, is so talented and always makes an effort to see our kids. Renee, is one of the hardest working women I know. Jake, is willing to help even when it may not be convenient.  Michael, is so smart. He offers advice, solicited and unsolicited. He has a big heart. Amy, is a great friend and someone I enjoy being around. Melissa, even though I have offended her in the past, she still keeps in touch and I believe genuinely cares. James, is amazing and has been a friend. He makes everyone around him feel comfortable. Rebekah, is an amazing woman. We go through our ups and downs but she is amazing. One day one man is going to be super lucky. Kara, listens to me and never judges. She makes me feel good about myself and I have come to love her so much. Robert, is super analytical and it makes me laugh. He's a good guy and he is a patient man. Charity is someone who I can call and complain to and she listens. Each of these people, whether they have kids of their own or not, are amazing parents. I have learned so much from them and have so much I can/need to learn still.
6) I am grateful for my nieces and nephews. I know I've said it before but there was a time I didn't figure I would get married or have my own kids. Each of these nieces in nephews were my 1st babies. I love how much they love me. I am going to miss them so so so much when we can't live close. They are my kids 1st friends. I love you Ginny, Seth, Aubree, Sydney, Elle, Will, Chloe, Chris, Riley, Jack, Claire, Annie, and Izzy.
7) I am grateful for friendships new and old. For the friends who have stayed forever, the ones who stayed a season, all of them.
8) I am grateful for grandparents! 
There are so many other things I could write about, electricity, running water, Brent's job, etc but I wanted to write about the people. The ones who have influenced my life the most. I have been blessed beyond measure.

Elijah Reed from Dada

Dear Elijah,

What can I say? You are two years old! Time has gone by so fast, yet, at the same time, it is hard to imagine mommy and my life before you. We are truly blessed to have you in our family.

I have seen you grow from a baby to a little boy. Time changes things so gradually that it sneaks up on you. It is hard not to see you as the little baby boy I held in my arms that cold November 30^th 2011. However, I am grateful that you are growing, despite my internal protest, because it means to get to learn and experience new and exciting things. This year alone, you became a big brother when we welcomed Madelynn into our family. You love her so much and want to hold her all the time – more than she wants. You have learned to communicate better with us and can almost speak in sentences. Your favorite things to say is “juice”, though it comes out more like “joo” and “hold you” meaning you want, usually mama, to hold you.  You also love playing with trains (“choo-choos”) and cars (“beep-beeps”).

You bring a lot of joy to my life. You are silly and fun and enjoy laughing and making others laugh. You are a cute boy and a good boy that I am proud to call my son. Don’t get me wrong, you throw a lot of temper-tantrums when you don’t get your way or you’re tired, but the good times we have are well worth the anxiety, the sleep-less nights, and the frustration that comes with raising a 2 year old.

Elijah, always remember that your father on earth loves you and your Father in Heaven loves you! And there is nothing you can do in this life that you could not receive full forgiveness from either of your fathers. We both are always there to help you when you are in need and please come to us when you are in need. We want to help you succeed in this life, enjoy the blessings that await you, and reach that full potential that is in you.

Remember these things and Happy 2^nd Birthday buddy!

Love,

Your Dada

Elijah Reed from momma

Dear Elijah, I started writing this earlier and was almost done when you and sissy needed me. So I put the phone down, I was blogging from it, and one of you came and deleted it all. So I'll start over.

You turned 2 today and it's hard to believe it's been 2 years! The days are long and the years are short. You came into this world a fussy little man. I am glad that you finally decided to be happy in life. Now you are full of joy and energy. There isn't a day I don't fall more in love with you. You are growing so fast and learning so much. I love hearing all your new words. You sometimes get frustrated when I can't understand you. You cock your head to the side and I'm sure you're blaming me for not knowing. 

You currently love choochoo trains. This started over the summer when your aunt Julie took you to the train museum in Sacramento. I didn't think you'd enjoy it so much but you fell in love. You also love Mickey Mouse clubhouse. And at the end when they play the "hotdog" song you make whoever is with you dance. Your Grammy danced with you about every 23 minutes this summer. Even if she was in another room you'd run to find her so she could dance with you. One of your favorite places to go right now is Nana's House. You have a lot of people who love you!

You are a great big brother. I honestly didn't think I could love 2 babies because I loved you so much. But when Madelynn came, my heart grew. You and sissy are best friends. I love watching you play together. You two laugh at each other and love each other so much. You love to hold her. Elijah, I'm not even sure I can begin to tell you the joy you've brought into my life. I love you so much. I know I can't keep you little forever but every once in a while I wish I could. I know there will come a day where you don't want me to hold you and I'll miss it. I love how much you need your momma right now. 

I am doing my best to take the best care of you. I want the best for you. I'd give you the world and it still wouldn't be enough. I love you. Thank you for making me smile everyday. I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as you're living my baby you'll be. 

Mommyhood

Some days I rock motherhood, like I really rock it. Three hot nutritious yummy meals, story time, play time, you name it, I am mom of the year. Then some days I suck it up. I forget to feed madelynn, Elijah is eating bread for lunch, we watch tv, they yell at me, I do my best not to get upset. I guess the point is, I'm trying. I'm trying to be the best mom and wife possible. I have my good and bad days,  I'm human. 

There are times I think, I'm ready to have baby #3, go ahead and get it done. There are other days that I think that's craziness. Like today I'm pretty much rocking mommyhood. I took the kids to the library, we went to the store but then it started raining and both kids needed me to carry them. Then I panicked, if I had baby #3 I couldn't carry them all. And Elijah is so little still. 

I'm not really sure what the point of this one is. I love being a mom. Elijah is the coolest kid ever and Maddie is following in his footsteps. They make me feel so happy and they love me unconditionally and forgive all my mommy mistakes. Maybe it's true, the best things in life can also be the hardest. I'm so grateful that almost 2 years ago we were able to welcome Elijah into our family. I'm amazed at him every day. And just 8 months ago we added Madelynn and she is growing so fast and learning so much. She has recently really found her voice and has learned the highest pitch scream when she isn't getting her way. It's super annoying but it's fun to see her discover things. 

Busy busy

Life has been a little busy lately with the move and what not. For 2 months Brent commuted to Paris, Tn an hour and 45 minutes each way. His drive and being away from us such long hours made us pretty motivated to find a house in Paris. I've looked forward to home ownership for awhile and was excited for the hunt. That was, until we actually started looking. We left so many times discouraged and didn't know if we would ever find a place. We finally decided to buy a house we saw the first time we looked. It matched what we were looking for better than any of the others. I still don't like the outside so much but the inside is nice.  We moved in a little over a week ago and are basically unpacked and it's starting to feel like home. I'm anxious to get to know people in the Paris area and make a few friends. 

Brent is really enjoying his job and while when we moved here he said 3-5 years he is now saying 5-10. 

I'm doing the same ole same ole and taking care of this sweet babies who are occasional terrors. I couldn't be more blessed. I've kept busy unpacking and cleaning. The house we bought is hardwood throughout and I hate sweeping but I'll adjust. 

Elijah had tubes in his years earlier this month and we hope he stops getting so many ear infections. We put him in a big boy bed last night and things went well until he fell out around 1. So he ended up in the crib. 

Madelynn, is growing so fast. She has started crawling and loves playing with her big brother. He likes to hold her and she generally loves it. We recently let her cry it out and it worked and we were so happy. But then this week she has been waking up at night again. We need Elijah to move out of the crib so she can move into it. 

Those are short updates on what we've been up to. I really need to be a better blogger but I'm too busy trying to be an awesome mommy. 

Here's the thing

I know it shouldn't matter but ever since I had Elijah and had to have a csection I've felt kinda bad about it. I try to say it doesn't matter because he's here and in the big scheme of things that is exactly how I feel. 

But here lately I feel like it has come up a lot. Yesterday we took him to an ENT doctor where it was determined if needed tubes in his ears. Poor little guy has had so many ear infections which I already think is in part because I didn't breast feed him. Anyways. At the dr they at starts asking questions. Was he breast fed, no (though what I really wanted to say is how is that relevant to his ears) and the next question did he have an uncomplicated birth. I answered yes and he said, so he was born vaginally. And I again I had to say, he was a csection. 

Another time it has come up is when I was with a group of moms and they were talking about delivery and they were like, well, you know how it is. Nope, I don't. I don't deliver babies, I have babies unnaturally cut from me. 

10 things I would tell my 16 year old self

1) Get over it! Seriously, life is hard and it's wonderful. But if you can't see tomorrow through today then you are doing it all wrong. 

2) Family is the most important thing ever. I know sometimes your brothers and sisters will drive you crazy, guess what, that never changes even at 32 they can annoy you but they are also your best friends, your biggest supporters, and will always be there for you. 

3)Stop obsessing over you so much and get out there and serve those around you!

4) If given the chance to travel, do it! I wanted to go to BYU Hawaii but I didn't because I couldn't afford it. I was also invited to Brazil and didn't go because of money. In reality, I should have prioritized and went. 

5) Don't ever put off an apology and make sure you say you're sorry. Pride is hard and no one likes to be wrong, but everyone benefits from a heartfelt apology. 

6) Be active and ear right but don't obsess over weight. You are beautiful and created perfectly by a loving Heavenly Father. Take care of the body He gave you. 

7) Peer pressure is real and it's hard to say no. So the best thing to do is to keep yourself out of situations you'll have to say no to. Hang out with good friends (for the most part my friends were awesome). Listen to that inner voice, aka the Holy Ghost. 

8) Your Heavenly Father loves you infinitely! He loves you so much that he gave you earthy parents to help you out. Show some respect. They are really great people and those rules are there to help you not to hinder you. 

9) Education is important. Study hard and it'll pay off. 

10) Make goals and then make them happen. You'll never regret accomplishing something you put your mind to. Small goals are fine. You won't meet all your goals but you'll accomplish a lot. 

And 11, even though I said 10 things. Don't worry, you'll get married one day and have your own family so enjoy where you are now. And when you're 25 keep remembering this. Heavenly Father's plan is way bigger than ours so let Him take control and all things will work out

Self Love and Self Hate

As a woman, or maybe it is just me, I have an internal conflict about whether I like me or not. It's true, some days I don't. There are some days I'm not pretty enough, not a good enough wife, not a good enough mother, not nice, and I'm sure the list goes on. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, a whole lot. Why don't I like me. Then I realized that one of Satan's greatest tools is having us not like ourselves.
I don't like the weight I've put on and I am constantly disgusted when I look at it in the mirror. I have no clothes that fit and refuse to buy fat clothes. It makes me sad and makes me feel no good. But then recently I decided to stop the self hate and start to self love. Because really, I am a good person. So when I look in the mirror and I see all the extra pounds, I try to push the, "Yuck, I'm so gross" out and think, "This body has carried 2 babies! This body has been so good to me". Yea, it may sound weird but I really do have a lot of conversations with myself.
This doesn't mean that I don't need to lose weight, I do. But I'm not looking at it as weight anymore. Heck, I may always be fat but I will also be healthy. I will exercise even when it's hard. Even when I'm too tired from the day! I will go and I will be glad that I did. I can control what goes in my body. And on occasion, I will eat bad but then I will do better. I no longer care, as much because this is something I have to work on, what exactly I look like but I do care if I am going to be healthy enough to play with my babies, to chase them, to keep up with them. And the answer is yes! I will be healthy, I will do all that is in my power to live a long life so that I can be with them. I won't self hate anymore. My kids think I'm the most wonderful beautiful loving woman in the world. And I won't have them believe differently. I will live up to their thoughts. I will be great!
So I will stop mourning my "old body" and love the one that I have. Because lets be honest, I have two awesome kids and a husband that tells me everyday how beautiful and sexy I am. So what else matters.

California

California

We came back from California this week and I can't say if it's good to be home or not. We had the best time and we were super sad to leave. It's always hard to leave family, especially when you don't see them near enough. 

Here are some of the highlights from our trip.

1) Elijah falling in love with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Before we left he would watch a few minutes of it but that's all. At some point while we were there he started watching full episodes. 

2) At the end of every episode they play the hotdog dance. Elijah would search the house to find Grammy and she would come dance with him. Since we've been home he has looked for her a few times. He got lucky that Grammy and grandpa bought him 3 Mickey Mouse DVDs. 

3) Elijah went to the Disney store for the 1st time. It was hard for us not to want to buy him everything in the store! 

4) This is probably my favorite thing while there, watching how much they all adore Elijah and Madelynn. There were so many occasions I'd lay Maddie down and come back to find her snuggled in someone's arms. 

5) Grandpa's yogi bear, hey boo boo, how are you. He'd do it for Maddie all the time and she would just smile. We found out the last day that it was because Elijah was his buddy and Madelynn was his booboo. 

6) Spending 5 days in Sacramento with Julie. Elijah loved the train museum and so did we. He was so excited and that made us so excited. Also can I say Julie fed us cheesecake one night for dinner. Mmm, no wonder I'm fat, I have no willpower. And it was so yummy. We also got to spend time in old Sacramento. While staying at Julie's grandpa and grandma Adamson came over and had dinner. It was so nice to visit with them and for them to meet our sweet girl. 

7) While in Cali I took a short weekend off and drove to southern Cali to meet my friend Arianne! We went to Disneyland where I couldn't help but feel a little bad that I left Elijah home. He would have loved it. But we had lots of fun! 

8) Then the whole family came up for a week and we headed over to Monterey. We went to the aquarium and had a fabulous time. Watching Elijah so excited brings lots of joy to my soul. He loved all the fish! We also spent a day at the beach. At first Elijah was very leery of it but he finally warmed up to it and loved it. Pure joy. His Grammy was glad that he loved it as much as she does. I foresee lots of summers spent there. 

9) We sat around the fire pit on several occasions and ate s'mores. I do believe this is one of my favorite things in California. We laugh a lot out there and have a good time every time. 

10) We were able to celebrate the 4th of July with yummy food followed by fireworks. 

11) Grammy had a birthday and we love birthdays. Elijah hotdog danced the entire day for her. We had a fantastic dinner and then to the cards/presents. We worked hard on the bathroom as our gift and made a super cool frame with a beach quote on it for her. Uncle Bryant got Grammy some "mouse" ears and we had fun taking pictures with them. It was the best kind of day because it was spent with family. 

12) The next night we celebrated my birthday and it was another fantastic day. Mom A and I decided to try making fried green tomatoes and they turned out fantastic! The entire meal that night was delicious. I guess this is where I should confess I gained about 10 pounds on this trip. 

There are tons of things I know I'm forgetting to write about. It all went by so fast. 

Blessing

Our Father in Heaven, by the authority of the holy Melchizedek priesthood, we lay this infant in our arms to give her a name and a blessing. The name in which she will be known in this life and on the records of the church is Madelynn Rochelle Adamson. Madelynn at the time we'd like to confer upon you a blessing, you are a beautiful daughter of God and I bless you to always remember this fact throughout your life. I bless you that you might have a love of the gospel and to have a love of the scriptures, that you might learn from them. That Heavenly Father loves you and you may grow closer to Him. We pray that you might be an example to others and that the light of Christ might shine in you that others may see that might and be drawn to you and to the gospel. We pray that you might live your life worthily that you will have your sights set towards the temple that one day you will take a man of your choosing to the temple and be married for time and all eternity. Madelynn always remember that you have a family that loves you and more importantly Heavenly Parents who love you. That you will always come to your Heavenly Father and to your early father. We bless you with these things and all other things that your Heavenly Father may wish upon you in     the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Blessing Pictures

 Madelynn is her beautiful blessing dress. Her Grammy lovingly made it for her. Thank you Grammy for your hard work! She looked perfect.

 The men in the circle. We wish Uncle Bryant could have come too.

 My cute family! Sheesh I love these people

 The Adamson's(above)

The Eaton Parents (below)

 

The entire group.

I'd like to think this is true for everyone that after the fact you wish you would have gotten a picture of this or a picture of that and that is exactly how I feel now. I guess I'll just be grateful for the pictures I did get.

Graduation

This past Friday, May 17 2013, we were able to attend Brent LeGrand Adamson’s graduation from the Southern College of Optometry. I know pride is a sin but I am one proud wife! Brent worked really hard and it is paying off. I'm grateful everyday  that he was prompted to attend SCO and made the move to Memphis, TN. I'm glad we met, that we got married and that we have started our family. I know mom A said that she knew they'd be coming to Tennessee for Brent's graduation but didn't imagine that they would have already come so many times. I'm sure they didn't imagine him getting married and having 2 children  by graduation. I didn't even expect us to have 2 by now. 

 A very proud wife and 2 grumpy children! They don't like the heat and humidity.

 Proud mother in law and Papaw. So grateful to have their support.

 Proud Parents. I know they worked hard to get him here too.

 A bunch of Adamson's and 1 Stubbs.

 Me, Papaw, mom, Madelynn and Elijah

 Both of Brent's sisters made it out. So happy to have them here to support him.

 Does that say Dr? That's right, my man friend is now my Dr. friend.

 So happy to have his diploma in his hands.

Yep, it's true. I married this man and I couldn't be happier (well losing all the baby weight would make me happier but you know what I'm trying to say)!

It's hard to put into words what I feel right now. I'm excited, scared, anxious, happy. I have no idea where life will take us and I don't care too much as long as he is the one beside me.

20 Random Facts-Sandra

1) I could eat a whole jar of peanut butter in one sitting
2) As beautiful as flowers are, I think buying them is a big waste. A bouquet of wild flowers would melt me but bought ones, no thanks.
3) Using wooden pencils hurts my tongue. I know it sounds weird and I can't explain it but it makes my mouth hurt. I only use mechanical pencils.
4) I really enjoy push mowing a yard. It's exercise and you accomplish something at the same time.
5) When I was young I never really considered graduating from college. I figured I'd get married and start having babies. 

6) I love children's books and youth fiction. I read children's books even when the kids aren't around or aren't interested. 

7) I always thought I'd be an expert mother until I became a mother. I now find myself eating my words quit often. 

8) I love to throw parties and want them to be perfect! Every detail is important to me. People have told me I should do it as a living. 

9) I would consider budgeting a strong point. I sometimes spend stupidly but for the most part I'm really good at it. 

10) When I was a little girl I'd have the same reoccurring nightmare. It would be me, walking into the woods behind my parents house and I would see a lumberjack holding a baby/small child and then he'd make eye contact with me, like you're next, then he'd chop their head off. Yes, that is disturbing. The fact I still vividly remember the dream says a lot. 

11) Going with disturbing childhood memories, when I was way too young I watched a disturbing made for TV movie called David. It is about a bitter ex husband who wants to get back at the mom, so when he gets his son for a weekend visitation he tells him that he is going to take him to Disney World, but instead he takes him to a hotel and drugs him and pours gasoline on him and strikes a match. The boy lived. Umm, I was deathly scared of fire for years. Even when we had fhe on what to do in case of fire I would want to cry. Terrified!

12) I started working at a Western Sizzlin when I was 14. Renee was working that night, they were super busy and were short handed. They couldn't find anyone to come in so Renee suggested calling me. I worked there all through high school. 

13) At Ricks College I needed a job. I didn't have a car and there weren't tons of jobs around. So I started working as a janitor. We had to be at work on campus at 4am! Umm, that's so early. I lasted about two months. I worked in the library and did the bathrooms. In one of the bathrooms there was a couch and we'd often take long breaks on it. 

14) In 6th grade I'm pretty sure I made a D or an F in science on my report card. I know Renee and Michael said grade didn't matter until high school so I didn't do my work. I got in lots of trouble and had to sit at the table and do homework/study while the other kids got to watch after school cartoons. There was a picture on the wall at the table that made it possible for me to see the reflection of the tv. 

15) One of my favorite hobbies is reading. But I didn't grow up with a love of reading. I don't think I started enjoying it until I was probably 23. I wish I would have discovered it when I was younger. 

16) I hated vegetables until I was an adult too. Most of the ones I now eat regularly I never had as a kid. I guess that's why it's important to eat a variety of foods. There are lots of foods I never had as a kid but love as an adult. 

17) This may sound crazy but when I was younger I thought I would die young. My patriarchal blessing says more than once Heavenly Father is anxiously awaiting for me to return. I interpreted it my way. I wasn't obsessed with it but would sometimes have that thought. 

18) I broke my arm when I was 6 years old. We had a horse and I wanted to ride it. Of course I was pretending I was royalty and I had on lots of bead necklaces. Well, my beads startled the horse and I was bucked off. I landed on a brick in the yard. Daddy told me to get up. I tried but couldn't. He came and picked me up and momma drove me to the hospital. My anesthesiologist was dr Charles Freeman. On church Sunday he was there and recognized me. He and his family had just moved to the area and he had a daughter my age. We became best friends pretty quickly. 

19) I really wanted to wear glasses as a child so I tried to get answers wrong on my eye exam in 4th grade. Then as a young adult I wanted to not wear them so I would use both eyes sometimes when the dr wasn't looking. I hate the idea of failing. I have said I'd rather go to my gynecologist over my optometrist. Oddly enough, I married an optometrist. 

20) I want to travel the world but then I get overwhelmed thinking about it. I want to plan trips then I see the cost and my practical mind thinks, student loans, mortgage,  etc. I'm pretty boring. 

A challenge to myself

A list of things to tell my kids. I will so one a week until I'm done. 

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your spouse.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. What’s the hardest part of growing up?
14. Describe 5 and weaknesses strengths you have.
15. Describe when you knew your spouse was the one or how I fell in love.
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What do you think your spouse loves most about you?
19. How did you feel the moment you became a parent?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. Describe your relationship with your parents.
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. What’s your favorite holiday and why?
24. What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about parenthood?
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What’s your favorite quality in your spouse?
29. What are your hopes and dreams for your prosperity?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

Motherhood

Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels.

--The First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

As mothers in Israel, we are the Lord’s secret weapon. Our influence comes from a divine endowment that has been in place from the beginning. In the pre-mortal world, when our Father described our role, I wonder if we didn’t stand in wide-eyed wonder that He would bless us with a sacred trust so central to His plan and that He would endow us with gifts so vital to the loving and leading of His children. I wonder if we shouted for joy at least in part because of the ennobling stature He gave us in His kingdom. The world won’t tell you that, but the Spirit will.

--Sister Sheri Dew

As I tenderly acknowledge the very real pain that many single women, or married women who have not borne children, feel about any discussion of motherhood, could we consider this one possibility about our eternal female identity—our unity in our diversity? Eve was given the identity of “the mother of all living”—years, decades, perhaps centuries before she ever bore a child. It would appear that her motherhood preceded her maternity, just as surely as the perfection of the Garden preceded the struggles of mortality. I believe mother is one of those very carefully chosen words, one of those rich words—with meaning after meaning after meaning. We must not, at all costs, let that word divide us. I believe with all my heart that it is first and foremost a statement about our nature, not a head count of our children.

--Sister Patricia Holland

I honor women who are not mothers. They know that motherhood is but one of the realms of womankind. The virtue and intelligence of women are uniquely applicable to other realms as well, such as compassionate service and teaching.

--Elder Russell M. Nelson

There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part-or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.

--Elder Russell M. Ballard, "Daughters of God," General Conference April 2008

Some women give birth and raise children but never “mother” them.  Others, whom I love with all my heart, “mother” all their lives but have never given birth.  Therefore, we must understand that however we accomplish it, parenthood is the highest of callings, the holiest of assignments. 
— Patricia Holland, A Quiet Heart

There were several years that I assumed the blessing of motherhood had passed me by. I always knew I wanted to be a mom and I always felt like a mom, I just didn't have any children of my own. And in a sense I was okay because I have brothers and sisters who freely share their children. And those children really love me, a lot! 

And that may sound ridiculous because I was young, it was just a feeling. But then 17 months ago I was blessed with the most perfect baby, Elijah. Sure he was fussy and he cried and he made me cry but he was perfect non the less. He has taught me a lot about motherhood. Then just recently, 10 weeks ago, I was blessed with my sweet Madelynn. I am a mother of two vibrant, energetic, lovely children. I could not be more blessed. There are days that I want to throw in the towel but then I get a smile or a snuggle and I melt. 

I've had several examples of great mothers in my life. I have a mother and while we haven't alwayls seen eye to eye, she has always been there for me. She loves me even when I'm grumpy. I love next door to her right now, and while I don't want to always live next door, it's been a pleasant 8 months. She has been an awesome mom and nana. I love you mom. 

Then there is my mother in law. I've not known her for long but I truly love her. She is an example for me in motherhood and her love of the gospel. I'm sure she doesn't always agree with me but she loves me.  And that means a lot. When coming into a new family it's nice to have the mom welcome you do easily. 

I also have incredible sisters and sister in laws. Some have children, some do not but they are each an example to me and to my kids. Oldest to youngest; Julie, is kind and patient. She has came to visit both of my babies in their first 2 weeks of life. She plays and reads to them. She is an example of motherhood. Renee, she can juggle about a gazillion at once. She is always willing to help out. She is amazing! She is an example of motherhood. Melissa truly loves babies! She is very patient with them. Elijah has even thrown up on her. She makes an effort to keep in touch. She is an example of motherhood. Amy, a super mom. She is amazing. She crafts, she's fun and she's a great friend. She is an example of motherhood. Rebekah, is a funny girl. She sometimes plays like she doesn't like kids but she loves her cuddle time. She's a teacher so she has about 20 kids of her own each year. She is an example of motherhood. Kara, simply amazing. She is talented and shares her talents with others. She encourages her kids to be creative and to try new things. She is an example of motherhood. Charity, is a rock star. She just finished dental hygiene school while being an awesome mommy to Riley and pregnant. She is unstoppable. She is an example of motherhood.

All these women have taught me different lessons. And there are so many more who have contributed! I'm a blessed girl. Blessed to have Brent, blessed to have my children, blessed to have 2 mothers I love dearly, blessed to be a sister to so many incredible people. 

Motherhood is sacred and I'm thankful for it. 

Perfection

At this very moment I'm holding my sleeping baby girl listening to Brent give Elijah a bath. I hear lots of laughter and lots of splashing. I love this. These are the moments people say to savor because they go to quickly.
Things are great in this Adamson household. Brent is just a few weeks away from graduation. I am so proud of all his hard work. Not only has he done great in school, he also never shirked his family duties.
The Adamson family will be traveling to Tennessee soon for graduation and Madelynn's blessing. I am so excited for them to meet this little girl. Then just a few weeks after they leave we are traveling to California for 5 weeks.

Life is good! We are blessed. 

Brent turning the Big Three Zero

I'm a super lame wife, in the fact that I couldn't think of a single special thing to do for this birthday. We were going to take a night trip but couldn't find a weekend for it to work plus we shouldn't spend the money. Then I thought, ill throw him a party! I love parties, but they aren't really Brent's thing. Plus it'd just be my family and my friends. So I'm not doing anything. I got him a card and the kids got him cards. But today will probably be the same as yesterday was and tomorrow will be.
I'm not a fan of online PDA. It's just silly to me. I tell and show Brent that I love him on a daily basis. But I will say on this day that I am so grateful his parents had him and that he turned into such an awesome man. I'm sure most people will never know how fun and funny he is because he is quiet. But I know and he makes me laugh everyday, even those days when I feel like nothing could make me laugh. Brent is so kind and a much better man than I ever thought is deserve. I am truly the luckiest girl and my kids are the luckiest kids. Two kids have definitely made life harder and I would never want to be on this journey without Brent. I've never doubted once that he is the perfect man for me. And I know he feels like I'm the perfect woman for him. I love you Brent Legrand!

Update

The weeks are flying by with 2 little ones at home. And there isn't a day that goes by that I don't offer prayers of gratitude. Some days it's because I'm overwhelmed with gratitude and other days its because I'm just plain overwhelmed and need to remind myself to be grateful. Madelynn is 7 weeks today. She is a typical baby. She cries, eats, poops and sleeps. She doesn't smile yet. We went to the dr and got her on medicine for silent reflux, that helps a little and we are grateful for it. When people see her they always comment on how alert she is. She is awake most of the day and has been sleeping pretty well at night.
Elijah is 16.5 months and quite fun. He's a bit fussy do to cutting his molars. He has become such a joy it's a lot harder, though not impossible, to remember how fussy he use to be. Current things about Elijah to be noted:
He is a very helpful big brother. If Maddie starts crying he will run to her aid. It usually makes the situation worse but it's pretty cute. He loves to burp her, I wonder if he just likes hitting her and we are okay if it's on the back. He can actually get a burp when we can't. And if she does tummy time, he gets down with her.
We can't say the word GO if he is around. He will immediately run to the door. He loves to get out of the house.
He has the cutest cheesy smile ever. If you say cheese, he gives you the face in the last picture. Melt me.
If Brent and I are sitting on the couch holding hands, and Elijah sees it, he will either come put his hand in the mix or break are hands s part so we cant hold hands.
He is really good at mimicking actions. If I pat his daddy's leg, Elijah will pat it too. We have to be careful these as to what he sees.
He thinks "see" food is funny. He will be mid chew and open his mouth so we can see the content. Then he'll bust out laughing and usually drop the food from his mouth from laughing so hard.
Bath time is his favorite time. I'm pretty sure he gets at least 2 baths a day. He is the cleanest boy around. It is one of his favorite words.
He tries to buy extra time at bedtime by cuddling. And I must admit he is usually successful. I love his cuddles.
He also has this over the should naughty smile. If he knows he's doing something he shouldn't, he'll see if your looking, do his over the shoulder smile and proceed with his naughtiness.
Both of my kids are such cuties and bring this momma lots of joy. It'll be a few years but I look forward to one day having more.
Brent finishes school this May! Can you believe it. I met him the summer of his first year and he's almost done now. The time really has flown by. I'm excited to see where life takes us. And when I say excited I mean nervous and apprehensive. I guess as long as I have Brent and the kids, not much else matters.
While he looks for a job we plan to fly to California and spend 4-5 weeks. I'm especially looking forward to Elijah getting to know his Adamson grandparents better. I know he will melt them the way he melts us daily.

Daddy's letter to Madelynn

To: Madelynn Rochelle Adamson

February 27, 2013, the day you were born, was a cold dark day. Dark, in that, your mom and I had to get up at 4:30 in the morning to go to the hospital in preparation for your arrival. We arrived there at 5:30, both of us very tired from not getting much sleep the night before. We were very excited to see you and maybe just a little nervous, as you will find out when you become a mother yourself. Every child is a joy to have, but if you are anything like me, you worry just a little bit for each of your children. But that’s normal, I think. Anyways, we checked into the hospital and got our room, I finally met the doctor for the first time, who was very good. Finally, they took your mom away to prep her for surgery, which left me alone in the room to wait and wait and wait. Luckily, I wasn’t as nervous this time waiting – maybe it was cause I went through this already with your brother, but mostly, I believe, it was cause Heavenly Father blessed me to be calm. I knew everything was going to be all right.

Finally, they came and got me and mom smiled at me when I came in. They were working on getting you out and I sat with mommy and held her hand. After just a little while, we heard you…and boy did we hear you! You came out screaming like non other. Even the doctor and nurses were impressed. I don’t think they have heard a more “healthy pair of lungs” as you had. You did not want to leave mommy, that was for sure. You also hated them cleaning you up and weighing you.

You were born at 8:03am and were 8 pounds 7 ounces and were 20.5 inches long. You looked a lot like your brother did when he was a newborn, but don’t worry, all newborns look similar and I know you won’t look like a boy the rest of your life. I was proud to call you my daughter and I hope you will be proud to call me dad. I got to spend about an hour just holding you while they finished cleaning up your mom. It was the highlight of my day that day.

So that is my memory of the day you were born. You were perfect and will always be so in my eyes, no matter what you do. And I promise you, as long as I live, I will always take care of you. I hope to give you as many opportunities as possible to help you grow physically and spiritually and to help you develop skills and talents that will benefit you and others throughout your life. I hope that you will pursue an education and get a college degree. I hope for you that you will find a man that will treat you as the princess and daughter of God that you are. I hope you take the time to be a mother, for there is no greater thing in this life than to create a life and influence him/her for good. But what I hope for you the most is that you will always remember that I love you and your Father-in-Heaven loves you always and no matter what and that you can always turn to both of us for help.

Take care, my beautiful daughter

Love, your Daddy