A letter to my son

Dear Elijah,
It may seem silly that I am writing this and you aren't even here yet but I feel like there is so much to say. I'm sure by the time you can read you will know that you mommy has a lot to say about life. You should know I am so excited for your arrival. I think I waste hours a day thinking about holding you. Some times I go sit in your nursery and imagine life with you. I'm sure soon I won't be able to imagine life without you.
Daddy is so excited for your arrival too. I love listening to him talk about you. He already thinks you are perfect and he hasn't even met you yet. He likes to talk to you and he tries to convince you that he is your favorite. I tell him there is no way that can be true because I am the one feeding and housing you currently. He ask me everyday how his boy is doing. You are a really lucky guy to have such a wonderful father! He talks about you playing football, etc and I always protest but secretly I think you can play if you want.
It's crazy to think that being pregnant with you has taken quite the toll on my body. I'll try not to hold it against you in the future :). I didn't even know it was possible to gain so much weight in a year. I also didn't know something so small, you, could make my body so achy and uncomfortable. But it's completely okay with me. I know you are worth every pound, every ache, every stretch mark! You already bring so much happiness into our lives.
As ridiculous as this sounds, sometimes I think you are doing things on purpose. I imagine you laughing sometimes. I try to tell you that I am the funny one, not you but I think that encourages you more. Sometimes you'll be super active and I'll tell daddy to come and feel or to see. As soon as he gets close enough you go completely still. Maybe you are playing hide and seek. You don't let many people feel you move. Sometimes daddy even thinks I'm making it up that you are so active. We try to trick you sometimes but you are too smart. Like I said, I know it is ridiculous but it's fun to have these little talks with you. You like to hang out on my right side so I look pretty funny. Daddy says it is because you already want to choose the right. I also have to remind him that I'm the funny one, not him. We laugh a lot in our home.
Your cousins are so excited to meet you. The Farrell kids ask about you a lot and Ginny has already told me she would babysit you! She also likes to rub my tummy when we are together. Then we have Elle who we see quite a bit. She gives you kisses & hugs all the time. She also always wants to share her food with you. If she is eating she'll offer me a bite for Elijah. Even if I don't want it but she thinks you do she insist on you having it. When we go shopping together we always look at baby stuff and she gets so excited. I'll tease about buying you something pink but she protects you from my girly instincts. You have 3 boy cousins that are all about 18 months older than you. Hopefully you all play well together. I wonder if you will all be very close.
I guess I could give you the old motherly advice about always wear clean underwear and keep your teeth brushed but we have a lifetime for me to tell you these things.
I guess the main thing you should know is how much I already love you. And I promise to be the best mommy that I can. I've waited a long time to have you and at times in life I thought I'd never have the chance to be a mommy but now I have you growing in me. Even with all the not so fun pregnant stuff, I've never been happier. I'll try to not embarrass you too much and when you are older I'll try not to kiss you in public. I love you baby boy! I can not imagine loving you more yet I know when you are actually here I will. I feel blessed daily to get the opportunity to have you in my family.
Love always and forever,
Mommy

Ho Ho Ho

I'm not a huge Santa Claus fan. I've alway said my kids aren't believing in Santa. I want them to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas and I don't want to lie to them.

Well, things change. I still don't want Santa to be a focus for Christmas for us, he will play a very small role. I figure Santa can get my kids one gift and the rest are from mommy and daddy.
Each year mom buys all the kids and grandkids pajamas to wear Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. We went to Babies R Us today to look for kid pajamas. It'll just be Elle, Jack, and Elijah in Tennessee this year so not too big of a task. We fell in in love with this super cute outfit/pajamas. At first I said no because I'm not a Santa fan but it was just too cute to pass. Santa's beard is so so so soft. The shirt does say baby's first Christmas. I love the cute feet to the pants.
I'm gonna need my baby to get here! It's sad he'll only get to wear this outfit once!

Baby Shower

I had my shower today in Memphis and it was so super cute! Kara threw it for me and she did a milk and cookies theme. Everyone commented on how cute it was. Mom took a few pictures for me. I wish I would have taken them because she didn't get all the decoration in the pictures or a close up of the milk bottles. She also didn't take any pictures of the presents. Oh well, it was fun.
It started off real slow. For a while I thought it was going to be like 4 people. Most people showed up 30-45 minutes late. I didn't expect many people, I don't have a lot of friends here in Memphis but it turned out great. Such a cute food table. Kara made oatmeal raisin cookies, mom made chocolate chip, Brent made white chocolate macadamia nut, Charity made pumpkin chocolate chip, and Renee' made peanut butter cookies. They were so yummy! I have the best family ever.

Kara pouring the milk! Those were made from Starbucks bottles. I told Kara I would make them and at first she said no but she let me. I enjoy doing things so I'm glad she let me help. Super cute! So many people commented on how cute everything was.

Charity modeling the table for us. You can kinda see the red latterns hanging in the background. Brent was a rockstar and took Elle, Jack, and Aubree to the park for us. Jack is a little destroyer and kept wanting to pull the table cloth off. James had other plans so Brent stepped up. I really am a lucky girl. I'm grateful for everyone who helped with my shower and for everyone who came. I'm a lucky girl!

Random Thoughts on a Friday

It's fun that it is November and I can finally say, I'm due next month. I've been having lots of random thoughts lately and here are a few of the censored ones.
1) Really, there is no test before they let you walk out of the hospital with a baby. It's harder to get a new drivers license then it is to have a baby.
2) 70lbs, holy hannah this kid better be huge to justify the weight.
3) Is anyone ever ready for parenthood. My whole life I've waited for this time to come and now I wonder if I'm even close to ready for this.
4) I can't wait to hold my sweet baby in my arms. I think about it constantly. I think about how it will be to see him for the first time.
5) I hope he has 5 fingers on each hand and 5 toes on each foot. I know it's weird but I really do think about this. I want no more or no less.
6) I'm so glad that my baby will have Brent as his daddy! I couldn't feel more blessed or lucky when it comes to this. I love the way he talks about being a daddy.....and yes pregnant me is now crying.
7) Wow, I can't wait to not be so dang emotional. I want my regular hormones back!
8) How much will my relationship change with Brent?
9) Will I lose any of the weight I've gained? I'm gonna try hard but I will not obsess or let it take over my life. The most important thing to be is that we are happy.
10) Will I be a good mom. I often wonder if I will be to laid back or way over protective. I've been a good aunt but this is way different.
11) I hope that I don't tear during labor and that I am able to go natural. Maybe labor isn't as bad as I've imagined. Woman have been doing it forever. Our bodies are made for it.
12) I wonder what personality traits baby will inherent from me and Brent. Will he be super laid back or spunky? As a child I was super shy so we might have us a quiet one on the way.
13) How long does it actually take you body to recover after labor. I've known women that are out and about the next day and some that take forever.
14) Will he come on his own or will I have to be induced. I want him out by his due date because of Brent's exam schedule. The dr said she would induce around my due date or a week early if my cervix is favorable. As of know my cervix is locked up as tight as Fort Knox. That kid is so comfy in there.
15) I wish Elijah would not use my bladder as a trampoline or my vag as a place to prace his future football moves.
16) Our bodies are amazing and can do amazing things. I feel truly blessed daily to have the chance to be Elijah's mother.
17) It's a huge responsibility to be a parent. We have to teach this kid to choose the right, to stand in holy places, to be a good person. We are charged to teach him everything he needs to know to return to live with our Father in Heaven.
I have so many more thoughts about baby but I'll leave it at this. I couldn't be more anxious, more excited, more scared, happier, etc then I am right now.

PS. I am having a baby shower in Memphis tomorrow so I'll post pictures. I'm excited for it....I just hope some people come.