So I should have been at institute but decided to go to a Redbirds game with these peeps. It was pretty fun. I had been having kinda an emotional day so wanted to do something that would take my mind off of things. It was fun but I am tired today. I'm glad we didn't go out with them after. I would have died today at work.
Chillin with Cal. I should have left my glasses on. My eyes look a little squinty.
Me and Allison H. She's the one that just got baptized this past Saturday. Such a fun girl.
I've never really had a thing for baseball players but who could resist. It was a perfect picture opportunity.
I'm trying to make more friends. It's mostly leaving my extremely tired and broke (gas is expensive). I literally drove close to 300 miles yesterday. I know right, crazy. But I'm trying to keep myself distracted. I miss hanging out with Ben and being his friend. I thought we were going to be able to do it but then sometimes we are just too weird. And I think it's okay to miss him. I am kinda tired of pretending that I don't care. Because I do. I have to resist the urge to pick up the phone and call and tell him that I miss him! I'm not even scared to do that. What I am scared of is him not caring, him being indifferent, not missing me. Not that I think he has to miss me in a grand way but as a friend. And I don't think that I can handle that rejection right now. So as I always say, I'll keep living my life. I'll keep pretending that I love it and I'll leave myself open. Because I am me, I am a resilent girl who is trying to figure out life and love it along the way. This emotional stuff has to stop, it's too draining. Between really being sad and trying to act happy all the time. Being a woman, sheesh!
Chillin with Cal. I should have left my glasses on. My eyes look a little squinty.
Me and Allison H. She's the one that just got baptized this past Saturday. Such a fun girl.
I've never really had a thing for baseball players but who could resist. It was a perfect picture opportunity.
I'm trying to make more friends. It's mostly leaving my extremely tired and broke (gas is expensive). I literally drove close to 300 miles yesterday. I know right, crazy. But I'm trying to keep myself distracted. I miss hanging out with Ben and being his friend. I thought we were going to be able to do it but then sometimes we are just too weird. And I think it's okay to miss him. I am kinda tired of pretending that I don't care. Because I do. I have to resist the urge to pick up the phone and call and tell him that I miss him! I'm not even scared to do that. What I am scared of is him not caring, him being indifferent, not missing me. Not that I think he has to miss me in a grand way but as a friend. And I don't think that I can handle that rejection right now. So as I always say, I'll keep living my life. I'll keep pretending that I love it and I'll leave myself open. Because I am me, I am a resilent girl who is trying to figure out life and love it along the way. This emotional stuff has to stop, it's too draining. Between really being sad and trying to act happy all the time. Being a woman, sheesh!
4 comments:
How fun to sit on the lawn..we did that at a diamond jax game. Maybe they can come down for one of those games...they have dollar night too.
always resist the urge to call! of course he misses you, but that doesn't change the fact that you're not together. RESIST RESIST RESIST!I've been the idiot that calls, and its never a good thing. ever. trust me, it may be hard to resist, but its so much harder to let go if you are still calling him and having hope of a reuniting.
my two cents (for what it's worth)...just realize that it might always hurt and you will just have to figure out how to deal with it...but then again it might get easier and easier without you even realizing it. Also, i agree with Candace, just resist talking to him, it will hold you back from finding the right person.
Hey it is so weird not taking to you everyday.. I feel out of the loop. Life seems busy which is good.
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