Hot Cold, Yes No, On Off

Okay so I really should make my blog private and then I would feel most comfortable posting everything I really want to post. But I haven't made the switch yet so what can you do.
So I've been having a super hard week. I've had to think a lot about things that I don't want to think about. I've been hanging out with a guy for a while but it has left me feeling completely and utterly confused. Should you just be open to the way you feel or just ignore these feelings. I thought I was okay being friends, as noted in the last blog, but I'm not so sure. You see, I need a clear definition of what we are.
So I was thinking about those days in HS or college where you would have a "DTR". The whole idea of sitting down to “define the relationship” was very awkward and uncomfortable. What if the other person didn’t want the same thing you did? What if you were/are rejected? It was/is a gamble.
Maybe this is how the “hanging out” phenomenon started in the first place. Why should a guy ask a girl out, pick her up, and take her on an actual date where they talk when there is the alternative of “hanging out”. Hanging out is a foggy relationship without commitment. This hanging out is not only for the youth but has found it's way into my life. Dating is confusing enough when it’s in the open. But add the ambiguity of undefined relationships, and it’s no wonder we singles are screaming, “Whatever happened to real dates?”
Hanging out gives a false sense of a real relationships. As a woman I don’t like hanging out because I don’t want to give too much of myself and become vulnerable.
So while I am almost certain I have my answer I still feel the need to ask him. I know that it more than likely won't be what I want to hear but I need to know. I have all sorts of issues I want to write about. I'm not an all or nothing type of person. I would love to be his friend but I need to know how that works with him. I feel like giving up right now. I don't want to sound whiney or that I am having a pity party I just want to feel validated.
Sorry for all of you who didn't care about all of this. I wish that I didn't but I'm me and theres no apologizing for that. I'm living my life the best I know how. Am I planning a DTR? Heck NO. Will I learn from it? I don't know what there is to learn. Will I get over it? I always do!