Self Love and Self Hate

As a woman, or maybe it is just me, I have an internal conflict about whether I like me or not. It's true, some days I don't. There are some days I'm not pretty enough, not a good enough wife, not a good enough mother, not nice, and I'm sure the list goes on. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, a whole lot. Why don't I like me. Then I realized that one of Satan's greatest tools is having us not like ourselves.
I don't like the weight I've put on and I am constantly disgusted when I look at it in the mirror. I have no clothes that fit and refuse to buy fat clothes. It makes me sad and makes me feel no good. But then recently I decided to stop the self hate and start to self love. Because really, I am a good person. So when I look in the mirror and I see all the extra pounds, I try to push the, "Yuck, I'm so gross" out and think, "This body has carried 2 babies! This body has been so good to me". Yea, it may sound weird but I really do have a lot of conversations with myself.
This doesn't mean that I don't need to lose weight, I do. But I'm not looking at it as weight anymore. Heck, I may always be fat but I will also be healthy. I will exercise even when it's hard. Even when I'm too tired from the day! I will go and I will be glad that I did. I can control what goes in my body. And on occasion, I will eat bad but then I will do better. I no longer care, as much because this is something I have to work on, what exactly I look like but I do care if I am going to be healthy enough to play with my babies, to chase them, to keep up with them. And the answer is yes! I will be healthy, I will do all that is in my power to live a long life so that I can be with them. I won't self hate anymore. My kids think I'm the most wonderful beautiful loving woman in the world. And I won't have them believe differently. I will live up to their thoughts. I will be great!
So I will stop mourning my "old body" and love the one that I have. Because lets be honest, I have two awesome kids and a husband that tells me everyday how beautiful and sexy I am. So what else matters.