Generally in life, I've had a fairly easy time making new friends. How hard can it be? You find people you have things in common with, you talk a bit, exchange a few text, you get the ackward 1st outing out of the way, you decide you really do like each other, then you are friends.
I have lots of friends but Brent and I have no couple friends. Well that is a lie, we do have James and Kara, Charity and Robert, and Renee and Jake, but we don't have any outside the family.
I've known since the day I met Brent that he isn't an outgoing person. He's known since the day he met me I am an outgoing person. He doesn't really need friends, I have to have them. For some reason I imagined us making "couple" friends fairly easily. We moved into a ward that has lots of young couples who are students. I figured at least some of the other optometry families would welcome us in. But they haven't and we have no friends! I knew our situation was a little different. Most of them have kids, most of the moms stay home but I didn't think it'd be a big deal. I work full time, I'm able to do that and I wouldn't change it right now. We need the income and I am able to. And I refust to have a child just to make friends. And when the time is right, Brent and I will have a baby. But we have to wait for the right time. And you all know that I've wanted a baby since I was like 14 yrs old. And I still want lots of them! But as for now, Brent is in school, I need to work to pay the bills, and we've only been married 3 months.
On day 12 of valentine's day, when I left 12 things I love about him, one of them was how excited he is to be a dad. I know he will be a great dad. And I love when he talks about our future little Adamson's. It makes me want to throw all caution to the wind and not wait another minute. But, as for now, we will wait.
Anyways, that isn't what this is about. This is about me wondering why it's so hard to make friends with couples. Lucky for us, we are busy, we don't have a lot of free time, and we love just being alone together. Together is a great place to be.
2 comments:
You don't have to have a baby to make friends. And I know exactly how you feel. When Chris and I were first married we lived in the optometry student ward with the moms who were all stay at home with the kids and Chris and I both worked full time. What we learned what that in order to make and be friends with these people, we had to be willing to never be the host. We'd always go to their houses to play games after their kids had gone to bed. So sometimes we'd start game night at 8pm and play till 10:30 or 11 before going home. We had about 3 or 4 really good couple friends and life was great.
Now that I'm the at home with the baby mom, I realize what a gift that was we gave people. It's lonely being the parents. And now, when you'd think we have a ton of couple friends because we've finally joined the parent club, we really have none. We can't go out after 5:30. Sarah eats dinner then, by 6:15 she's in the bath tub, by 6:45 we're reading bed time books, and at 7:00 she's down for the night. And all of the other parents are in the same situation, so it's not like they can come over. And date night, please, baby sitters are expensive. So there we are, just as our old optometry friends were, basically stuck at home with no one to hang out with, UNLESS you have a couple friend free from kids.
That's where you come in. You are not at a disadvantage in the friend zone because you have no idea. No, you can be the savior of their social lives. I was ECSTATIC when you mentioned that you and Brent liked to play games. My first thought was COUPLE FRIENDS!!!!! So I am serious, ANY TIME (after 7) you want to come out, we have a WHOLE CLOSET dedicated to our freakishly large game collection. I'm sorry we live out in the country or else we'd be begging you to come over all the time. But let's seriously put something on the calendar. Facebook me a date and we'll have game night. I just apologize in advance that we live in the middle of no where.
(And sorry for the long comment.)
Friends, friends, friends....I have learned in just the past couple years that they are nice but my closest ones are Jake, my sisters, and mom. Those people love me no matter what but sometimes it would be nice to be involved with others too, I suppose.
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