Today, I want to give up. I want all the bad to disappear.
Today, I am not loving who I am. I want to be anyone but me. Seriously, anyone.
Today, I know if I stop smiling, I will surely break down in tears.
Today, I am reevaluating and realizing how far off I am.
Today, I am going to try to stop making excuses.
Today, I am going to accept that things are what they are. I don't get a choice in some matters and I have to accept them anyway.
Today, I accept that just because someone says they are your friend, does not mean that they are.
Today, I am going to stop letting people disappoint me. If you don't expect anything, you can't be let down.
Today, is today. I am hoping I don't scream, that I don't cry, that I realize excuses hurt everyone, and I am going to try to love me.
I guess when the first thing you hear/read for the day is not what you want to hear, it puts the rest of the day in jeopardy of being bad. I am tired of letting others disappoint me. I am in charge.
I can only give to everyone what is left over. And unfortunately, I don't feel like there is a lot left. My bucket is about empty and it's not being replenished.
Sorry, I am not trying to complain, this is just how I feel. I hope tomorrow is different. I hope that I wake up with only happy words but as for today, I am not loving life. I guess we are all entitled to these days. Most days when I wake up this way, I tell myself No and I make it okay, not today. Today, I am going to let myself feel these feelings. But tomorrow, I will say No, and pretend that the world is a happy place where people don't intentionally hurt you or disappoint you.
1 comment:
WOW!! You really are having a sucking day. I knew it was bad but not that bad. I should have been there. love you
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