I'm not sure any of this will make sense to anyone. But I will try my best to explain what I'm thinking here. As you all know we got pregnant pretty quickly after we got married. We got married in November and found out we were preggo in April. We had decided in Feb/March we would stop preventing pregnancy but figured it would take a little while to get pregnant. I was thinking it would be August/September when it happened. But as fate would have it, we got pregnant basically the same day we decided to no longer prevent it. We were/are so excited to have this little guy coming to join our family.
But now I'm not sure if some of my behaviors are because we've been married a bit longer or if it is just the pregnancy. Things like cooking and cleaning. When we were first married I would cook dinner every night and I even enjoyed it. But now, cooking happens less and it takes a lot of energy. I'm not sure if I can blame the pregnancy or if it would have happen even if there was no baby in utero. I am usually a very physically affectionate person. Now, not so much. I don't really like being touched. Brent is still very affectionate but I'm not sure if it has worn off from me or if this is temporarily. Sometimes even back rubs make me cringe......I figure I'm relating any physical touch to being pregnant now.
So the marriage and pregnancy lines blur together to me. Marriage is still super fun to me. I love being married to Brent. He is an incredible man who I know loves me so much. He doesn't just love me in word but in action. He is a good man who I know will be a great father. Last night while we were laying in bed he was cuddled up to me (which by the way I use to want him to cuddle me but he claimed he couldn't sleep, now that I like my space he loves to cuddle......go figure) and he hand was on my stomach and Elijah was going crazy! I love when he gets to feel the baby. Elijah has become a very active little guy! His favorite place to hang out is on my lungs. I swear he presses on them so I can't breath some times. He also likes to use my bladder as a punching bag. Especially at night.
2 more months and I'll have my baby here. I'm almost done decorating his nursery. I can't completely finish until he gets here because one wall is going to be a canvas picture of him. Oh baby, lets hope the next few months fly by. And I do know it is hard when they get here too. But at least when he gets here daddy can help take care of him and I won't feel sick any more.
3 comments:
Your son is already a rebel.
I haven't been pregnant too long, but I do notice a difference in the way I use to be a better wife than I am now (concerning dinners and cleaning). I keep thinking to myself what a horrible wife I am when I see Sam cookiing and cleaning, but I am SOOO tired. We have to give ourselves a break. We are growing a human being inside of us! I do have those sudden bursts of energy and production to make up for my lameness the rest of the time. I want to remind him that the woman he married is still in this tired, sick, getting larger body. haha. I'm a touchy person, too, but I don't really want to be touched lately, so I know what you mean there. Just get through this, and then you can keep being a great wife. Get plenty of rest while you can though before Elijah gets here!!
Long story short-It's just the pregnancy. You're not a bad wife. ;)
I think some of the newness of it being "fun" to cook and clean does fade with time.....but really it is so much related to how much energy you have and being pregnant does suck it all up. But I think that's part of the learning experience. How do we be really good wives while pregnant? Or with a newborn and no sleep? Or with a toddler running around destroying the house? Or with a toddler destroying the house and being pregnant again - with twins? yada yada. It's hard - but it will always be hard, if not harder. So I'm learning to rely on Christ to give me a whole lot of strength & engery to keep up with my kids AND be a good wife.....and not collapse over and die. :)
p.s. Whenever I see a sock monkey I think of you now! :) Love you!
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