A bit OF UNDERSTANDING

In life I love those little ah hah moments! Those moments where you start to understand something whether it be secular or spiritual. You want to share this knowledge with everyone and most of the time they look at you like, really you are just figuring this out but whatever because it's become clear. Some lessons we learn over and over again and that's okay too.

This past week I was struggling with my own personal demons and this particular demon just happened to be my self worth. I was feeling mostly sad, a little broken and let down. So what did I do to fix this. I did a lot of praying, a lot of soul searching, and went to the temple repeatedly. I wasn't going to just sit there and feel bad about life I was going to get out there and find my solution.

And I did, and yes I will forget this one day and have to relearn this lesson but today I can see clearly.

This came to me as I was reading my patriarchal blessing. There is a statement in there that says, "Satan has a stronghold on the hearts of many and he has a strong desire to claim your soul....". What?!?!, yes I've read it a least one hundred times but this hit me, HARD. Because usually when I think of Satan I think of the big things, the "BIG" sins. But no, we don't even have to be at that point all he has to do is make us forget our own divine nature. Heavenly Father would never condone me saying things to myself that are bringing me down but Satan, he's good and smooth and sneaky. He waits to I have a bit of failure in my life and then he moves in. He makes me think that it didn't work out because I wasn't smart enough, pretty enough, cool enough etc. And I can choose NOT to let him do this. When these feelings start creeping in my mind, I can choose to remember that I am a daughter of a kind loving Heavenly Father that gives me trials and experiences so that I can learn from them!

I have a lot of friends right now that can't find jobs, are having a hard time with dating, that things just don't seem to be working out for. A lot of these people are some of the greatest people so I too wonder why "its" not working out for them. But it will work if they/I will keep having faith; we will be just fine.

Stake Conference really focused on faith yesterday and I needed it. I've been working on my faith lately so it came at a really good time for me. I appreciated the reminder that faith and doubt can not coexist. I can have one or the other and I'm choosing faith today. Faith builds, doubt destroys.

Thanks everyone for supporting me even through my craziness. I am just trying to learn my life lessons. If it were all up to me I would not be learning them in the manner that has been given to me but I don't choose that. WHAT I DO GET TO CHOOSE IS HOW I RESPOND TO THE SITUATION. I pray that I can have the faith to overcome my own weaknesses. I know that Heavenly Father does not forget us and I know he knows the righteous desires of our hearts. And when the right time comes we will receive these.

We all suffer through the pains of broken hearts, the disappointments of jobs lost or not found, the inadequencies that are made apparent daily but we are good. And since we are all faced with this in life we can learn from it. Anciently Paul wrote that our suffering may give us an opportunity to know the Savior better. Paul wrote to the Romans:
“The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
“And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.”

And the prophet Joseph Smith was told while in Liberty Jail, "Know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good."

I'm here for the experience!