Happy Birthday Elijah

I am constantly in awe that I was blessed to your mom. It's hard to believe it's been 5 years since your daddy handed you to me and I was officially a mom. You have brought me more joy than I ever imagined. You've also caused more frustration than I ever thought possible from such a small person. Lately, you've been such a little stink! You have a smart mouth and love to aggravate. I'm going to be honest in these letters each year. I won't lie and pretend you're always an angel. With that being said, you do have some very sweet qualities. You still ask me to cuddle you and to hold you. You say the sweetest things. A couple months ago we had the misfortune to lose a baby in my tummy. I was so sad and you were too. You finally looked at me and said, I know why our baby had to die. Then you said because it wanted to wait and come with our other baby next time. I like hearing your logic. And when I was the saddest, you tried so hard to cheer me up. I love that about you!
You go to school everyday and you really love your teacher, Ms. Kim. She is so nice and you say pretty. You've made some really good friends too. Madelynn goes 2x a week with you. I love that you take care of her at school. On her first day she started crying at lunch so you went and said, there there, you are okay. School is fun. Ms. Kim said you always help Madelynn when she is sad. I imagine you'll always be a good big brother and protect all your younger siblings. We also bring home a little boy in your class 3 days a week who has down syndrome. You are so good with him and gentle. So while you are a stink, you are a tender little stink.
I love you so much Elijah. I couldn't imagine my world without you. You bring so much happiness to my world. You are so smart and ask a billion questions. Sometimes I don't know the answer to them but we look them up together. I've loved watching you grow and learn the past few years, I look forward to watching you learn and grow the rest of my life.
Heavenly Father knew to send you first because you are the best big brother in the world. He knew that you would forgive me for all the mommy mistakes I make. He knew you would patiently help me to navigate mother.
Always know that I am here for you. No matter what, I am your mother. I want what is best for you. I will fight silent battles with you. And I will fight the loud ones too.  I will be by your side. Your father and I take it seriously that we are to teach you all you need to know on the earth to return to your Heavenly Father. I want us to be an eternal family. You won't always like the lessons you have to learn. I hate to say it, but life is hard and has a lot of setbacks. But we are here to help you overcome all of them. We are here to push, or pull you, forward when you need it. And I know you'll do the same for us. And when you are sad, I'll dry your tears the same way you've recently dried mine.
I wish words could convey love. Because I love you so big.
Love your mommy.

According to you:
You currently want to be an army man.
Your favorite color is red and green.
Your favorite show is star wars.
Your favorite game is operation
Your favorite toy is darth vader bear.
Your favorite boy is star wars rebel.
You are really good at running
Your best friend is Elise.
You want to vacation to England.
Favorite ice cream is chocolate.
Your wish is to fly.
Your hero is superman.
Your favorite thing to do with your friends is to play pirates.
Your favorite holiday is Christmas.
Your favorite person in the whole world is mommy.
Your favorite TV show is Star Wars Clone wars.
Your favorite song is A Long time Ago (I know that my Savior loves me). 
 If you had $1000 you would be a star wars bike.