Have a FEARLESS Heart!

"He is not perfect. She is not perfect. The question is whether or not they are perfect for each other."

Have you ever been hurt? Have you ever loved? Have you ever taken the risk to give in completely to another person? Have you ever jumped in with all you have? Do you have a fearless heart?
I have been hurt, I have hurt others, BUT I have LOVED, and I have been LOVED. Love is worth all the risk and the hurt. I'm not saying it's easy but I think we all have to take the chance and do it. We have to let each experience change us and we have to grow!
Put yourself out there in the beginning, put yourself out there in the middle, go all in, put your fearless heart into someone else's hands, and jump into what could be an amazing experience. All relationships end one of 2 ways, see how it works take the chance! Yes, you may get hurt (all except for one ends with someone getting hurt) but you might not. You might learn things you never thought imaginable, you may feel feelings that are beyond description, you might even love. And that in my opinion, is very worth it.
I generally have not done this. I am left wondering what would have happened if I would have given in completely. Not have been so guarded, so worried about the end result. But, I'm learning and that is what this is all about. Until I meet the right person, I'll keep looking. I'll try to have a fearless heart and I'll learn the lessons that are there to be taught. Along the way, I'm going to have fun living my life. So here I go, I will have a FEARLESS HEART!

I may have fallen in love

If any of you read yesterdays post I said at the end that I needed a sewing machine and a serger. I decided yesterday to start off by getting a serger so we headed to the store. We then talk me out of a serger. I've never really used one and it looked kinda hard. So I decided to get a sewing machine.
I was looking at one that was $150. I'm not that great at sewing and it would have been okay for what I wanted to use it for. I wanted to get Michael's opinion so he came over. He said I might as well get the nicer one because I would use it and it's nicer. So I ended up spending $400 and got a Brother Sewing and Embroidery Machine SE350. It's so pretty. Amy and I were excited to learn how to do the embroidery and figured it out pretty quickly. And we were able to make a few more bags!
I think I have fallen in love with my new "toy". I even had a dream about it last night. It's beautiful! And I'm going to ask for a serger for my Birthday/Christmas present. I am so excited to get to work. It's funny the older I get the more domestic I become. I love sewing, cooking, etc. So anyways, if anyone has any fun projects I can help. I'm always up for learning how to make new things!

Projects

I really love working on projects. I love learning how to make new things. It's been great having Amy here because she is always up for it too. And she was conveniently located in Jackson so we were close enough to get together and do it. We were planning, before she decided to move, that we would look recipes up and learn to make new things. Guess I'll have to learn all those new recipes alone :(. Mike wanted to make some delicious chow mein yesterday and he always wants me to learn. So we made dinner together last night. I'm going to really miss these things. I enjoy cooking with Mike. I wish I had someone to recreate all these recipes for. It's just not that fun to cook for yourself. Sadly, I believe I like to cook to impress people.

Anyways, Amy and I went to the store yesterday to get fabric to make me a bag but I ended up getting enough fabric to make one for all the kids. I thought the kids could use them as church bags. The airplane one is Seth's. It fits his scriptures great. We didn't make one for Will or Chloe. You really don't need a church bag until your old enough to walk. I thought they turned out really cute.

Amy also made me a super cute apron, since we were going to be doing all this cooking, and I've decided I'm going to make some of them too. I think the bags and aprons would both be great gifts. So all of you reading this be prepared to get one of the two sometime this year.

This brings me to the point where I have to say I need a sewing machine and a serger. I think I'm just going to go and buy them. Neither would be a waste of money. I will be using them for the rest of my life. It's just hard because I don't have a lot of storage space right now. Under my bed is full of kitchen stuff that I buy because I have to have it. Then I also have stuff in a corner of my room. I guess it might be time to get my own place again. The problem with that is, I might not have a job next year.

Anyways, I basically just wanted to show ya'll how cute the bags turned out. I'm going to finish mine tonight!

Becky, Becky, Becky

Today Becky turned 25! Wow Boo, you are getting old! If I was your age I would, oh never mind I've already been your age! I just wanted to write a little bit about Beck, she was my first roommate and one of my best friends.
Rebekah and I shared a room for as long as I could remember. Something that I know I've told her before is this story. In our room there is a window on 2 walls. We had 2 twin beds. One of the twin beds was between the 2 windows and one was on the other side of one of the windows. I was a very scared child so when I chose which bed would be mine, logic kicked it. I knew that if someone was to break into the house they could come through a window. I chose the bed that was beside one window only and put Becky in between the two. That meant she had a greater chance to be abducted than I did. I know, I was weird, what kind of child thinks these things. I was also afraid to sleep alone so she often slept in my bed. But since I was older and shouldn't have been scared I would make it look like I was doing her a favor. Sorry Beck, I would never do that now! We had lots of fun nights together and probably got into a lot of trouble for giggling late at night.
As we got older, I got too cool, and we didn't hang out as much. But regardless, I always knew I could count on Becky. In high school I took French my senior year, Becky was a freshman and took it too. We were in the same class and I really enjoyed it. We also worked together while in high school. I have so many fun memories with Beck.
She is a special girl and somewhat of a miracle. She was ran over when she was young. I should say her head was ran over twice. Because of this she was always a little spoiled but we love you anyways. I couldn't imagine life without you. Who else would I have put in between those two windows.
With this being said, we haven't always gotten along. We have had our disagreements! But we always recover from them. I have a lot of admiration for her. She went back to school and I don't know if I could start all over. I think about going back to school to become a Physician's Assistant but get overwhelmed by the thought. Becky, she just goes for it.
Becky, I love and appreciate you. I love the way you live your life. I know it's not always easy and along the way some of it just plain stinks, but you my dear sister are a survivor. I love the way you know and love the scriptures. You are so talented. I know you deserve the best life has to offer and guess what? I know you will get it!
So Beck, I know you feel old (you definitely aren't) I want you to know how much I love and appreciate you. You inspire me in so many ways. I know that your life isn't perfect but you live it so right. Love you little sister.

Reflections

I was sitting thinking about my past relationships. Some were absolutely wonderful while others were, to put it nicely, less than adequate.
There are so many emotions one goes through when falling in like or falling in love and unfortunately equally as many when ones heart is broken and/or healing. I am very blessed to have been able to experience each of these things. The ones that hurt in the end were worth every tear, all the pain and heartbreak.
I think it's so sad when people become jaded with love. Or they lose hope and believe it's not meant for them. NOT ME, NO WAY. I like meeting new people, trying new things, I like the weirdness at the beginning, the first time they hold my hand, anticipating the kiss, calling/texting all my girlfriends about him, getting excited when he calls, and I have hope there is someone out there who is enjoying life as much as I am, preparing to meet me. How about that. I'm putting it out there. Because I deserve the best and that is exactly what I plan to get. In return, I plan to be the best. And that is how I feel about that!