Crush

I just thought I would say that I have a crush on a guy. And I think crushes are very healthy to have. I will probably never date this guy but non-the-less I have a crush. He's smart and funny and I personally think he's cute. Now I just have to talk to him, kidding, I'm not that shy.
I'm off work this week and I'm loving it. I'm just hanging it in Memphis. I love Memphis and love hanging out with my friends and family. Anyways, I hadn't blogged in a while and was thinking about my crush and thought I would share with all of you.

Disney on Ice

I love Disney on Ice and I'm so glad that I got to go again this year. It's always a great time and you are never to old to love Disney. I got teary eyed once because I realized I'm not a kid anymore but man do I love kid stuff. Minnie, Mickey. Donald and Goofy. The pictures didn't turn out very good because they were moving too fast on their iceskates.
Tink, my favorite. She is so sassy.

The Little Mermaid. This was my favorite perfomance. It was so good.

Cars, I still have not even seen the movie.

And our very own set of Princesses. With the exception of Aubree's friend Elle, She was more into cars so wouldn't wear a princess dress. Aren't my nieces (Tink and Belle) the cutest two kids you've seen. I love this girls.

An Abundance of Gratitude

This past week I have been feeling an abundance of gratitude for the things in my life. For a while I had become so sidetracked with my life not working the way I wanted it to that I forgot to remember the really important things. I was too busy playing the whoa unto Sandra card that I didn't take time to ask for my Saviors help.
I have been blessed more than most. I have a family that I get to spend eternity with if we keep the commandments. They are incredible people who bless me in so many ways. I love the innocence of my nieces and nephews, the way they love me and their great dispositions. This past week I had a meeting in Memphis on Thursday so I drove up Wednesday night. I went to dinner at Renee's and hung out for a while. I was able to stay for scripture and prayer. I love to hear children pray. Ginny was praying and she is very good at asking for individual blessings for each person such as please help Aubree get smiley faces at school (for her daily conduct, sometimes this is an issue), etc. Since I was there she included me. She said and please help Sandra, and I wondered what she was going to say for me, to be able to get married and have a husband. I love that even my 7 yr old niece is involved in my life.
I'm also grateful that I have a career. Last year I wasn't very busy at work and became bored often. This is not the problem this year. I have been really busy at work and I am grateful for it. I am feeling, after 2 years, more a part of the school. I know a lot of people struggling right now with job issues so I can't complain. I have a decent income and I enjoy my work.
I have been feeling overwhelming gratitude for my Savior. He truly loves me and has atoned for me so that I can return to live with my Father in Heaven. This is so incredible. I love the peace I am able to feel when I turn my life over to Him and ask for help.
I know that I can credit this STOMP challenge in part to this gratitude that I have. I know that I said I am doing it because I want my miracle in the end. But maybe the miracle is already occurring. Maybe I am becoming my own miracle. I am learning to love me, I am learning to understand a little more about what I am suppose to be doing, I am becoming a better person.
I have let go of so many feelings of hurt and sorrow that were mostly being caused by my own selfish pride. I am learning that I can do it with my Saviors help. I have a better understanding of the scriptures.
All the challenges in life are the refiners fire. I know I have so much more to endure. But if I can remember to lay it on the alter and alter my behavior in the process I am going to be happy and I'm going to make it through this life just fine.
I apologize for my blog not being overly interesting. I guess things are only interesting when there is drama and that is something that I am trying to stay away from. I'm super excited that this weekend is General Conference. I can't wait to hear the messages that are prepared for us. I hope I leave my heart open to accept the messages for me and also open to the will of my Heavenly Father. Because lets be honest, I've been trying to do it Sandra's way and look where it has gotten me, I know He will do a much better job.

Be Jealous, Be Very Jealous

That's right, you should all be jealous of ME right now. Because I am booked to go on a Western Caribbean Cruise this coming up February. Oh the joy! Well all you can be jealous of me with the exception of Amy, my sister-in-law, because she is coming with me.

I didn't think that it was all going to work out but it is and it is going to be beautiful. I hope she is already as excited as I am. Because as soon as I got the okay from work to have that week off I started researching my trip! I'll give you all a few of the details so you can be even more jealous and wish that you were me.

The name of the ship we will be sailing on is Freedom of the Sea. It's huge, I mean huge! It has qrock-climbing wall with eleven routes and a central spire you can swing around; a FlowRider surf park at sea; cantilevered whirlpools that extend 12 feet beyond the sides of the ship; the H20 Zone waterpark, complete with interactive sculpture fountains, ground geysers and a cascading waterfall, an ice skating rink, miniature golf and all this is on top of the normal entertainment you get from a cruise.

And of course the food, there is so much food. There is of course the buffet and also the regular dining area, then there is a Johnny Rockets 50's style cafe, a pizzeria and a Ben and Jerry's. I just hope I have time to fit in all the things I want to do while on board. Because there are also lots of really fun Ports.

Our itinerary is as followed, Port Canaveral, Florida; Labadee, Haiti; Ocho Rios, Jamaica; George Town, Grand Cayman; Cozumel, Mexico; Port Canaveral, Florida. Wow, I will be doing no sleeping because I will be too busy trying to fit it all it.

A bit OF UNDERSTANDING

In life I love those little ah hah moments! Those moments where you start to understand something whether it be secular or spiritual. You want to share this knowledge with everyone and most of the time they look at you like, really you are just figuring this out but whatever because it's become clear. Some lessons we learn over and over again and that's okay too.

This past week I was struggling with my own personal demons and this particular demon just happened to be my self worth. I was feeling mostly sad, a little broken and let down. So what did I do to fix this. I did a lot of praying, a lot of soul searching, and went to the temple repeatedly. I wasn't going to just sit there and feel bad about life I was going to get out there and find my solution.

And I did, and yes I will forget this one day and have to relearn this lesson but today I can see clearly.

This came to me as I was reading my patriarchal blessing. There is a statement in there that says, "Satan has a stronghold on the hearts of many and he has a strong desire to claim your soul....". What?!?!, yes I've read it a least one hundred times but this hit me, HARD. Because usually when I think of Satan I think of the big things, the "BIG" sins. But no, we don't even have to be at that point all he has to do is make us forget our own divine nature. Heavenly Father would never condone me saying things to myself that are bringing me down but Satan, he's good and smooth and sneaky. He waits to I have a bit of failure in my life and then he moves in. He makes me think that it didn't work out because I wasn't smart enough, pretty enough, cool enough etc. And I can choose NOT to let him do this. When these feelings start creeping in my mind, I can choose to remember that I am a daughter of a kind loving Heavenly Father that gives me trials and experiences so that I can learn from them!

I have a lot of friends right now that can't find jobs, are having a hard time with dating, that things just don't seem to be working out for. A lot of these people are some of the greatest people so I too wonder why "its" not working out for them. But it will work if they/I will keep having faith; we will be just fine.

Stake Conference really focused on faith yesterday and I needed it. I've been working on my faith lately so it came at a really good time for me. I appreciated the reminder that faith and doubt can not coexist. I can have one or the other and I'm choosing faith today. Faith builds, doubt destroys.

Thanks everyone for supporting me even through my craziness. I am just trying to learn my life lessons. If it were all up to me I would not be learning them in the manner that has been given to me but I don't choose that. WHAT I DO GET TO CHOOSE IS HOW I RESPOND TO THE SITUATION. I pray that I can have the faith to overcome my own weaknesses. I know that Heavenly Father does not forget us and I know he knows the righteous desires of our hearts. And when the right time comes we will receive these.

We all suffer through the pains of broken hearts, the disappointments of jobs lost or not found, the inadequencies that are made apparent daily but we are good. And since we are all faced with this in life we can learn from it. Anciently Paul wrote that our suffering may give us an opportunity to know the Savior better. Paul wrote to the Romans:
“The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
“And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.”

And the prophet Joseph Smith was told while in Liberty Jail, "Know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good."

I'm here for the experience!