A letter to Nolan

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Dear Nolan,

You’ve almost been here for one week and even in such a short time my world has changed. Even though you are baby three I still feel like a novice most days. I’m still learning and I’m eternally grateful that our Heavenly Father has trusted me with you 3 children.

The minute you were born I felt you were special, like really special. I told your dad later that I thought this. There is something so pure and sweet about you. I felt instantly bonded to you. This may sound strange but I didn’t expect this. It’s always taken me a few days to recuperate to “bond” but not with you. I promise when you look at me you give me a little smile.

And while I was worried I couldn’t handle 3 kids, you make me feel like I can. It’s hard to explain the emotions I have and I know I’m not conveying them the way I wish I could. But know that I love you eternally. You already love to be held and snuggled. You wake up almost instantly when we try to lay you down. Your brother and sister both love holding you.  And you are a good boy and tolerate it. I wonder what you think when all this is happening.

I want you to know that you are loved beyond measure, that as your mother I will always love you and be on your side. I will be your biggest advocate and your best fan/cheerleader. In my patriarchal blessing it says that Heavenly Father will trust me with these spirits and I am to teach them all that they need to know to return to live with Him someday. I take this seriously! I will do my best to teach you all that you need to know to return to your Heavenly Father. And I will always thank Him for sending you to our family. Also, know that I chose the most amazing man to be your father. When dating I not only looked for a good husband but someone I knew would be a good dad. He's always there for you too. How works so hard to provide for us. We love you.

I know that there will be times you are naughty or that I have a short temper. We will have to be patient with each other. But really no matter what at the end of the day I hope you never go to bed not knowing how much you are loved.

Love,

Your Mommy