Tender moments

I'm the luckiest mom ever! Yesterday was a horrible day, horrible. I woke up in a bad mood and the kids decided to try me all day. They fought over everything. Maddie through more fits than ever before. Elijah was crazy. And I'm embarrassed to admit that I lost my cool more than I should have. I generally never raise my voice but yesterday tested me and I failed more than once. 

Today my only goal is to be calm and enjoy my kids. And moments like this help me. This sweet little boy ask to hold his momma's hand all the time. And it's the sweetest thing ever. I love being a mom. I truly do. There are moments I am so overwhelmed with love and gratitude for being the mom of these sweet babies. 

I hope that they don't remember the yesterday's where I'm upset but that they remember the days like today.  

Maddie, Love Daddy

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Maddie,

Well, Today you are turning one! The time has flown by and I have had the privilege of watching you grow. You are a sweet, beautiful girl that loves life and about everyone who will hold you. There has been so much that you have learned to do, including walking by the time you were 10 and a half months old and mimicking sounds (you already said Elijah and yellow).

Some of my favorite memories of you this past year are the simple everyday ones. I most often get to put you down for the night. Every time we walk down the stairs, you reach your hand up so that you and I can touch the ceiling and, in the mornings when I get you out of the crib, you greet me with your smiling face and reach up to try and grab the ceiling fan cords. You love trying to play with those and I hope that never stop “reaching” and “trying” for the things/goals you want in life.

You love your Mama and brother Elijah but you are definitely daddy’s girl. I have been giving you lots of juice or milk because I love when you cuddle in to me to drink it. You love being held but you are also a busy and somewhat nosy little girl. You love getting into all the drawers and cabinets. Right now, your favorite is the spice drawer and, while not quite tall enough to see in it, you love reaching your arm up in there and grabbing something from in there. It’s like a little treasure hunt for you.

You are and forever will be my darling little princess. It has been a joy to have you in our lives. You have definitely made my life better and sweeter. I love you from the depths of my soul and will always be there for you, no matter what.

Happy 1^st Birthday, my little Princess

Love,

Your Daddy

Happy birthday Maddie

Madelynn,

It's hard to believe that you are 1! Where did this year go? It's so cliche to say, but the years really do fly by. 

You are such a blessing in our family. I feel truly lucky to be your momma. You are a very sweet girl and you love to smile. To you there are no strangers, just friends you haven't met yet. You go to everyone. 

At 1 you can say momma, dada, milk (not clearly but mommy knows when you are saying it), and you can mock the words yellow and Elijah like a pro. You can wave, kiss, you've been walking for over a month, have 5 teeth, loves playing with bubba, can climb, love to sing, and are all around perfect.

You've also recently learned to throw fits! Forgive mommy for thinking they are kinda cute. I currently just ignore them which makes you upset but you soon stop. 

You love playing with your brother and you two are best friends. I think you'll always be close to each other. He tries to hold you a lot. Sometimes you'll turn and let him and give him big baby kisses but sometimes you are too independent and just scream. 

I don't wish for the time to go any faster than it already is! I'm trying really hard to enjoy every moment with you. Sometimes when you wake up in the middle of the night, yes you still do this occasionally, I get to rock you back to sleep. While I'm holding you, you often look up into my eyes and I see glimpses of your future. Obviously not real glimpses, but glimpses of things I hope for you. I imagine you rocking your own babies in the middle of the night and them turning and looking you in the eyes. Those are the moments I know you'll know how much I love you. There are other moments, one just happened. You are in your high chair and threw all your food on the floor. I go to get you down, because when you do this you are done eating. I put you down and I start picking up food. You walk over to me and give me a big smile and a kiss. You melt me little lady. 

I never understood a mothers love until you and Elijah came along. I know there will be times in your life when you may think I'm uncool or mean but I know that no matter what you will know that I love you beyond measure.
Maddie I hope you always know how much you mean to the world. I hope that you can always see the good in the world, regardless of the bad.  That you strive to better yourself and those around you. I hope you are compassionate and think of others. I hope that you have strength in the bad times, and that you love always. I hope you make wise decisions. I pray that you keep your faith always and that you know that you not only have earthly parents who love you but you also have Heavenly Parents who love you. I can promise you that your Heavenly Father knows you by name and loves you individually. 

Happy birthday to my Madelynn Rochelle!

I hope you dance lyrics, my song to you.
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder.

You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,

May you never take one single breath for granted,

GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,

Never settle for the path of least resistance

Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',

Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',

Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,

When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,

Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,

Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, 

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. 

Dance....I hope you dance. 

I hope you dance....I hope you dance. 

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.. 

(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along 

Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone)

Oops

It's true. And crazy but we are expanding again. I'm both excited and terrified! I'm December I had this dream that my sister in law and I were both pregnant. I texted her and she replied with something like I wish and I was like, I hope not. Then not 2 days later I got the feeling I should test. I went to the dollar tree and bought a cheapo test and went home. I put the kids down for their naps and I did it. It was a faint line and the oh my goodness feeling came. I didn't want to believe it. What will Brent think? Brent came home later and I didn't even mention it at first. His reaction would mean everything. But when I did, I sobbingly told him and I even apologized for some reason and he just said, it'll all work out, we will be fine. I instantly believed him. We aren't sure about insurance and we will have to get a bigger car but it will all be fine. 

Brent's reaction meant everything to me. If he would have said, this sucks but it'll all work out I would have went into more of a panic mode. But he realized instantly that this was a blessing from our Heavenly Father. I'm blessed to have a husband who sees those things when I'm overwhelmed and blinded. We told Brent's parents and his mom sent a nice email and in it she said, "You will definitely have your hands full but perhaps the spirits that have been waiting to come to your family are just not willing to wait any longer.  You'll manage the addition to your family and enjoy a new sweet spirit when he or she comes in August." I've loved this and have read it many times. 

I've worried about what others would say, it seems like everyone has an opinion. But I'm trying to not care. Because we have been blessed with 2 beautiful and healthy babies and a 3rd will be perfect too. Heavenly Father has a plan for us and we will gladly follow it! 

Motherhood is the greatest and hardest calling in my life. I'm exhausted, tired, and half the time I probably smell from lack of showers or showering and forgetting to use soap because I have 2 little people lurking. But I'm also happy, and overwhelming blessed by these spirits that have been entrusted in our care. 

Fleeting moments

I watched a video yesterday from one of the mothers of a child tragically killed in the sandy hook shooting. It hit me hard. I complain about things that are hard in motherhood. My kids don't sleep, Elijah likes to crawl into our bed at night. Sis won't sleep through the night, etc. And I realized yesterday that I need to appreciate these fleeting moments. Because one day Elijah won't want/need me to hold his hand for an hour while he sleeps, he won't want to sleep with me. And these moments are just that, moments. Moments I'll cherish. Moments I daresay I'll miss. And no one can be assured of the days we have our children with us. 

I've been truly blessed in life so far. And I want to appreciate every moment. So if sis needs me to rock her at 2am them I'll do it and if as soon as I get her back to sleep and Elijah wants me to lay on his floor and hold his hand I'll do it. Because I am the luckiest girl in the entire world.