And so we stay

I guess it’s time to write this. The story behind the past few months for us.
In August Brent and I flew to Idaho to check out a job opportunity. Our plan for the past 5-6 years has been to move to Boise. It became even more one of my goals when my sister decided she was moving out there. 

While there we knew the job wasn’t perfect but this is what we really wanted. We prayed hard about it, we fasted about it, and honestly, we never got an answer either way. This frustrated me because this was a big decision for our family. In the end, we decided to take the risk and move. 

We put our house on the market and within a few days we had 2 offers! Things were working out awesome. Brent was planning to leave the end of September. Some dear friends had said the kids and I could stay with them until thanksgiving, when we thought we’d join Brent. 

Then things starting falling apart. The house sale fell through. Brent was having issues with insurance in Idaho so we decided he would wait and move after our cruise which was the 1st week of November. 

We felt good and this decision and had tons of fun on our trip! We got home and the next day Brent packed up and headed to Idaho. I surprised myself with how well I was doing alone with the kids. I missed Brent so much but knew I was doing this for our future. We booked Brent a plane ticket home to visit for Christmas and having an end date, even temporary, in sight made life okay. Plus I have some great friends around here who were willing to help and distract me some too. 

But while Brent was in Idaho, they were not giving him the days of work. They were having scheduling issues. They didn’t have enough staff. It was kind of a mess. He found other places that were hiring but what we thought was what we really wanted, just didn’t seem to be working out. 

We talked a lot about it. We aren’t quitters and wanted this to work out. But all signs pointed us staying in TN. I’ll be honest, there is a lot of pride to swallow when you thought you were doing the right thing, and it doesn’t work. I felt like we failed. And why when we prayed so hard did we not receive the answer to just stay. We lost and spent so much money during this, we were apart for 6 weeks, we had already packed 70% of our house, donated/sold a ton of our stuff. My friend Laura directed me to a talk that I’ve read so many times during the past few weeks, https://www.lds.org/new-era/2005/07/wrong-roads-and-revelation?lang=eng.

Maybe Brent and I had to experience all of this to be okay with us being here for longer. It did make me realize I love where we live. We are really blessed. 

I mourn not living close to my family there, not living close to Brent’s family but the reality is, we have made friends here that are like family. We are surrounded with people we love and that love us. 

I know this is longer than probably necessary, and I know I don’t have to explain myself about us not moving. For a while, I was embarrassed because i thought of it as a failure, but in reality, we were brave enough to try! 

Elijah turns 7

Elijah, 7 years ago you made me a mother. You are my first born. When I went to the hospital to have you, I was so nervous and excited. After laboring unsuccessfully, I had a csection. At the time, I felt like that the laboring was over. Boy was I wrong. I labor with you daily. Motherhood is filled with long laboring days. 

It is a labor of love and pure exhaustion. 

Elijah, I’m glad I get to labor with you daily. I have the opportunity to watch you learn and grow. There are days it makes me crazy, days when you make me crazy but I’m glad we get to grow together. 

Your love of God is such an example to me. You have a firm knowledge of your Savior. I’m impressed each fast Sunday that you go bear your testimony. It’s strong and sincere. You are a light! Don’t ever be embarrassed to share that light with others. 

You are mostly a good big brother. You generally will help out when I need the help. Sometimes you like to aggravate the other kids. You also try to parent them; especially since daddy has been in Idaho. It drives me insane but I also see it comes from a good place. 

You are a math wiz and becoming smarter every day. You don’t love doing your homework but I know it’s important so we fight through it. You are one of the top readers but are still really reluctant to do it. Be confident son! You are ama I gotta and will do amazing things. 

You love to play soccer and are pretty good at it to. And you are in an all boy gymnastics class currently too. You are getting really at it too. I love watching you. 

You love all animals and dream of becoming an explorer. You want to teach every one to be kind to all God’s creatures. I am slowly learning not to kill spiders but to let them go. 

You have a big heart. You are a tender soul. Even now you love to be cuddled by your momma. And I love to cuddle you. Remember to always be a force for good. Remember who you are are what your goal is. Love you always. 

Clark is one

Dearest Clark,

I know it’s cliche to say but this year really did fly by fast! We blinked and you turned one. The first few months of your life was really hard on us but whenever we looked at you dear sweet boy, it was sunshine on a very cloudy day. You have added so much joy to our family. 

You started walking about 6 weeks ago and since then, you have been one busy boy. We can hardly keep up with you. Not only are you everywhere, you are into everything! You no longer want me to hold you because you’ve decided you need down to explore. 

You are not a fan of other people, you will smile at them but if they try to hold you, you cry. But that smile quickly melts people. 

You love your blankie and carry it everywhere. You look so cute with it. You love to wear it like a scarf. 

You think daddy is the best person in the entire universe! You are such a daddy’s boy. You’ll even refuse to come to me if he is around. 

We are so happy to have you as our littlest person. Being a parent is hard, but you bring so much sunshine! We daydream of what/who are kids will be, be kind! That is the most important thing you can be. Be courageous, humble, a leader ( and follower if needed), determined, and gracious. When life throws hard things at you, you get to choose how to respond. Remember to always find the sunshine. And remember how much your earthy parents love you and even more importantly how much your heavenly parents do. 

Love you Clark Michael Adamson! Let your light shine. 

Happy Birthday love Mimi and Grandpa

Happy 4^th Birthday

to you, Nolan!

It’s hard to believe that you are only 4 because you keep up so well with the “big” kids. It’s easy to think of you as 6 or 7 which you often claim you are, silly boy! We love the pure joy and happiness you add to our family.

This past year has been a wonderful one and we were excited to get to come to visit all of you in Tennessee for Christmas and Clark’s baby blessing.  Suddenly, you were the BIG brother!  We had a great time at Christmas playing games, reading books, doing puzzles, opening presents, singing songs, and celebrating the birth of our Savior together.  You and Elijah slept in Maddie’s room while we visited and Grandpa and I were just next door.  Sometimes, you three had a hard time going to sleep…you giggled too much!  One night we kept yelling down the stairs, “Go to sleep or we will come down there!”  You three kept goofing around so I came down the stairs stomping my feet a bit so you would be warned.  You three immediately quieted down and pretended to be asleep.  So, I just sat quietly in the family room.  After a few minutes of quiet I heard you say, “Wow, that was a close call!”

I started to laugh!  You can be so funny that it’s hard to stay mad at you!  You have a great sense of humor.  And you are so smart, you know just when to make a joke!

We didn’t expect to see you until summer time but our dear Grandma Adamson passed away in March 2018.  Your whole family decided to come out for the funeral.  We were so glad that you did so you could say good bye to our sweet Grandma.  You, along with all the other members of our family, sang, “Love Is Spoken Here” at the funeral.  It was a good description of the kind of home Grandma and Grandpa Adamson had which was a blessing to all of us.  We all spent some time at Grandma’s home visiting with the family before and after the funeral.  We decided we needed to pick some lemons one last time and make lemonade in honor of Grandma Adamson. You may not have many memories of her as you grow up but she loved you a lot and enjoyed every visit you and your family made to see her and Grandpa.  She was proud of all of her children, grandchildren, and GREAT grandchildren and especially YOU!

Summer is our favorite time of year because you and your family come to California to visit us.  We look forward to having so much fun.  This past month you arrived.  We had fun swimming at our neighbor’s pool and going to the Ward Barbecue where you rode horses, jumped in a bounce house, went down the water slides, and ate lots of yummy food.  We also watched Paw Patrol and Wild Kratts, played Candy Land and Guess Who, read books, did puzzles, took walks, made treasure boxes, and had campfires where we made s’mores.  But our favorite thing was going to the beach.  You were so brave this year and spent most of the time boogie boarding with Elijah. Grandpa and Bryant helped you boys and you caught a lot of waves.  After a big wave caused you to wipe out, you got up and said, “Now I am a real surfer dude!  We always have wipeouts!” 

So, a very Happy Birthday

 to our Surfer Dude!

We love you so much, Nolan LeGrand Adamson.  You are one of a kind!                                                   

                          Love, Mimi and Grandpa   August 18, 2018    

Nolan turns 4

It's hard to believe you are 4 years old today and not 14 years old! You are trying to grow up too fast! You are upset you don't go to school everyday! And on the days you do go, you want to walk yourself to your classroom even though we have to sign you in. I had to let you go down and get in class and walk down after to sign you in.  You feel left out a lot when Elijah and Madelynn get to participate in things and you don't. We let you play spring soccer but you would only play for a few minutes before you were "too tired" and needed a break. We decided not to sign you up this spring and you've been pretty disappointed in us. But we did put you in gymnastics and you are loving it! I love how you look over at me when you are doing your thing and you give me the cutest smile!

You are the funniest kid we know. You say the darnest things and make us laugh at least once a day.....and many days much more than that. You have great comedic timing. I hope you never lose your silliness or your wit!
You also are very adventurous. This summer we went jet skiing with our Idaho cousins and you were loving it. At one point Michael and James were trying to convince you not to go, the big kids were gonna go on the tube, so they started saying how fast they were gonna go and how whoever was on the tube would definitely fly off. Instead of deterring you, it made you want to go even more. You proclaimed, you love to go fast! While I love you being adventurous, I also hope you are wise.This summer you also got to boogie board at the beach while we visited Mimi and Grandpa.
You currently love Paw Patrol, playing Star Wars, building magnets, reading, and playing outside. You could stay outdoors all day! Elijah has convinced you to be an animal activist just like him. You loved going to Junior Ranger camp this summer and seeing/touching the snakes and birds. You were actually too young to go but you HAD to participate so we asked and they let you as long as we paid and mommy stayed. I was a little miserable but you were loving it so it made it easier for me.
Nolan, I love seeing the person you are becoming. You are super sweet, a little stubborn, a great little brother, a great big brother, and just overall one of our favorite people. And not just ours, lots of people think you are the greatest. Thank you for 4 years of joy and laughs. I can't wait to see the person (or dragon since that is what you currently want to be when you grow up) you become.
Always remember how much mommy and daddy love you and want the best for you. I know you'll get mad at us, you already do, but know you can always count on us. And even more than us, your Heavenly Parents. I've learned I can always pray to my Heavenly Father. He is always there for you! ALWAYS! And because of our Savior, Jesus Christ, we can return to live with our Heavenly Father again. Never lose sight of the end goal. We plan to be together for forever! I couldn't imagine anything less. We are an eternal family.
Make sure you work as hard as you play but love the work that you do. That's really important in life. I wish I had some great wisdom to tell you right now. But the truth of the matter is, I'm still learning too. And while I try to be patient with you, please try to be patient with me. You would think I would have it all figured out by kid 3, but I'm constantly learning. Not to mention you aren't Elijah or Madelynn, you are you. You need things different from them.
I wish words could express how much I love you. They can't! You stole a piece of my heart 4 years ago. And I couldn't be happier to have you as part of my everyday. When I say I love you, you respond with I love you Saturday and I say I love you Sunday. And we both just know that is big. I LOVE YOU SUNDAY! I LOVE YOU MONDAY! I LOVE YOU TUESDAY! I LOVE YOU WEDNESDAY! I LOVE YOU THURSDAY! I LOVE YOU FRIDAY. I LOVE YOU SATURDAY!