Welcome Nolan

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Nolan LeGrand’s Birth Story

We have been so happy and tired having our sweet Nolan around the past few days. I've decided I should write his birth story before I forget the details.

Being my 3rd csection we knew exactly when he was coming. He was scheduled to arrive at 730am on August 18th. We had wondered a few times if he'd come early since I had been having tons of contractions over the last few weeks. But as we figured, I never dilated so we were set to go. We were going to deliver in

Jackson and since we had to be at the hospital at 530 we decided we should spend the night at my parents so we could go straight to the hospital. I had been really nervous and super anxious leading up to this day. But Brent gave me a blessing that offered both comfort and peace and I instantly knew I'd be okay. We arrived at the hospital and after being admitted we went to our "room" and waited. This is where all the nurses ask hundreds of questions and you get blood drawn and IV's inserted. They finally said it was time and they had me walk into the OR.

They had Brent sit on a stool outside the room. It's a little intimidating to walk in and crawl on the table. The CRNA came in and the best nurse ever (she reminded me so much of Carrie Knox that I was instantly calm) came and held me while they placed the spinal. Then they had me lay down and started poking me to see if I was numb enough yet. They put the oxygen mask on me and I instantly started gagging. I was so nauseous! So they finally took it off and placed the oxygen tubes in by nostrils. They let Brent in and tears starting flowing, I couldn’t do this without him. And I’m always so grateful to have him by my side. I start feeling my muscles twitch, they do this when they are cut through, and I feel a lot of tugging and pulling. I know at this moment they are about to pull my Nolan out. They tell Brent to get the camera ready and he stands to take a picture. Then at 7:55 we here the most beautiful stressful noise ever, our baby crying. They allow Brent to follow the baby and I always appreciate how he doesn’t want to leave my side and I have to tell him it’s okay to go. And I just lay there listening to the scrub techs count the instruments, hearing the CRNA say Jesus is good, we are blessed, hearing Dr. Williams commenting how big of a baby, anxious to hold my baby. They finally let Brent carry him over to me. I still can’t hold him, but I get to see him and I instantly fall in love. I carried this life within me for 9 long months. They have Brent carry him to our recovery room and I stay in the OR to get put back together. After they take me over to the recovery room and I get to hold my boy. And I’ll be honest; at this point he wouldn’t stop crying. I was having a hard time breastfeeding because they wouldn’t raise my bed any. I was feeling a little out of it and I wanted them to take him to the nursery to clean him so I could have him when I got back to our room.  Brent texted our families that he had arrived and we told mom and dad to bring Elijah and Maddie up to meet their brother at 11.

When we finally got to our room I felt so exhausted. They gave me a Dilantin pump for pain. It did help with the pain but it also made me very loopy/tired and super nauseous. So I also had to get Zofran through my IV.  They brought us Nolan back and mom, dad, Elijah, and Maddie showed up.  It was so fun to see the “big” kids see the baby. We introduced them to baby brother Nolan and Elijah corrected us to baby Tate. They both wanted to hold him and love him. The sweetest thing was how concerned Elijah was with me. He kept saying the Dr. would make me all better. And he was so concerned.  I love that boy so much. They didn’t stay too long, I’m pretty sure I was barely awake for most of it. The rest of the day is all kind of fuzzy. This makes me sad! We had a few visitors come by. I barely remember it. I know that mom brought Elijah back up and at this point he wouldn’t love on me at all. It really hurt my feelings but he just kept telling me to lay down so the Dr. could fix me. At the very end of our day, before Brent left to go stay with our other 2 at my parents we were able to skype with his parents. I’m always grateful for technology that allows this. They were able to see their 3^rd grandchild! I was a little out of it.

I had Nolan stay in the nursery but they brought him back every 2.5 hours. I could barely stay awake during the day but felt like I woke up every 10 minutes to push my pump. The next morning I asked early to get my IV and catheter removed so I could get up and get moving. The nurse did it. And I soon got up to walk. I wanted to be a little more mobile when the kids came to visit again. Brent stopped by on his way to work to say hello. We had several visitors this day. Dad, Papaw, Amy, Kristen Price, Rachel Raab, Stacey McAdams, Dorothy Miles, Carrie Knox, Rebekah, Charity, and Jenn Fearnley and maybe more that I can’t remember.

At one point during this day I started crying. I was feeling a little overwhelmed. The nurse walked in and asked me a question. I answered, then she asked if was about to cry, which led to me ugly crying and her telling me she was going to take the baby to the nursery and put a sign on my door saying no one was allowed in without talking to her first. I tease that this is how I became the crazy lady in room 327. She even suggested I stay at the hospital another night.  I took a 40-minute nap then called for them to bring my baby back. I was a little embarrassed over my bread down but also had to laugh.  They also called my Dr. and asked him to prescribe me something to help me sleep that night. I declined it; I wanted to be able to wake up to feed my little guy.

I was anxious to get checked out the next morning. Mom picked me up with the kids and we were off to Paris, TN. I still wake up every morning, and several times at night, in awe that I have 3 kids. I AM A MOM! I still hope I don’t fail miserably. That I can provide these kids with all the tools they need in the world. I’m still learning and I’m guessing I will be forever after.

Tender moments

I'm the luckiest mom ever! Yesterday was a horrible day, horrible. I woke up in a bad mood and the kids decided to try me all day. They fought over everything. Maddie through more fits than ever before. Elijah was crazy. And I'm embarrassed to admit that I lost my cool more than I should have. I generally never raise my voice but yesterday tested me and I failed more than once. 

Today my only goal is to be calm and enjoy my kids. And moments like this help me. This sweet little boy ask to hold his momma's hand all the time. And it's the sweetest thing ever. I love being a mom. I truly do. There are moments I am so overwhelmed with love and gratitude for being the mom of these sweet babies. 

I hope that they don't remember the yesterday's where I'm upset but that they remember the days like today.  

Maddie, Love Daddy

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Maddie,

Well, Today you are turning one! The time has flown by and I have had the privilege of watching you grow. You are a sweet, beautiful girl that loves life and about everyone who will hold you. There has been so much that you have learned to do, including walking by the time you were 10 and a half months old and mimicking sounds (you already said Elijah and yellow).

Some of my favorite memories of you this past year are the simple everyday ones. I most often get to put you down for the night. Every time we walk down the stairs, you reach your hand up so that you and I can touch the ceiling and, in the mornings when I get you out of the crib, you greet me with your smiling face and reach up to try and grab the ceiling fan cords. You love trying to play with those and I hope that never stop “reaching” and “trying” for the things/goals you want in life.

You love your Mama and brother Elijah but you are definitely daddy’s girl. I have been giving you lots of juice or milk because I love when you cuddle in to me to drink it. You love being held but you are also a busy and somewhat nosy little girl. You love getting into all the drawers and cabinets. Right now, your favorite is the spice drawer and, while not quite tall enough to see in it, you love reaching your arm up in there and grabbing something from in there. It’s like a little treasure hunt for you.

You are and forever will be my darling little princess. It has been a joy to have you in our lives. You have definitely made my life better and sweeter. I love you from the depths of my soul and will always be there for you, no matter what.

Happy 1^st Birthday, my little Princess

Love,

Your Daddy

Happy birthday Maddie

Madelynn,

It's hard to believe that you are 1! Where did this year go? It's so cliche to say, but the years really do fly by. 

You are such a blessing in our family. I feel truly lucky to be your momma. You are a very sweet girl and you love to smile. To you there are no strangers, just friends you haven't met yet. You go to everyone. 

At 1 you can say momma, dada, milk (not clearly but mommy knows when you are saying it), and you can mock the words yellow and Elijah like a pro. You can wave, kiss, you've been walking for over a month, have 5 teeth, loves playing with bubba, can climb, love to sing, and are all around perfect.

You've also recently learned to throw fits! Forgive mommy for thinking they are kinda cute. I currently just ignore them which makes you upset but you soon stop. 

You love playing with your brother and you two are best friends. I think you'll always be close to each other. He tries to hold you a lot. Sometimes you'll turn and let him and give him big baby kisses but sometimes you are too independent and just scream. 

I don't wish for the time to go any faster than it already is! I'm trying really hard to enjoy every moment with you. Sometimes when you wake up in the middle of the night, yes you still do this occasionally, I get to rock you back to sleep. While I'm holding you, you often look up into my eyes and I see glimpses of your future. Obviously not real glimpses, but glimpses of things I hope for you. I imagine you rocking your own babies in the middle of the night and them turning and looking you in the eyes. Those are the moments I know you'll know how much I love you. There are other moments, one just happened. You are in your high chair and threw all your food on the floor. I go to get you down, because when you do this you are done eating. I put you down and I start picking up food. You walk over to me and give me a big smile and a kiss. You melt me little lady. 

I never understood a mothers love until you and Elijah came along. I know there will be times in your life when you may think I'm uncool or mean but I know that no matter what you will know that I love you beyond measure.
Maddie I hope you always know how much you mean to the world. I hope that you can always see the good in the world, regardless of the bad.  That you strive to better yourself and those around you. I hope you are compassionate and think of others. I hope that you have strength in the bad times, and that you love always. I hope you make wise decisions. I pray that you keep your faith always and that you know that you not only have earthly parents who love you but you also have Heavenly Parents who love you. I can promise you that your Heavenly Father knows you by name and loves you individually. 

Happy birthday to my Madelynn Rochelle!

I hope you dance lyrics, my song to you.
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder.

You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,

May you never take one single breath for granted,

GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,

Never settle for the path of least resistance

Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',

Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',

Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,

When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,

Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,

Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, 

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. 

Dance....I hope you dance. 

I hope you dance....I hope you dance. 

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.. 

(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along 

Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone)

Oops

It's true. And crazy but we are expanding again. I'm both excited and terrified! I'm December I had this dream that my sister in law and I were both pregnant. I texted her and she replied with something like I wish and I was like, I hope not. Then not 2 days later I got the feeling I should test. I went to the dollar tree and bought a cheapo test and went home. I put the kids down for their naps and I did it. It was a faint line and the oh my goodness feeling came. I didn't want to believe it. What will Brent think? Brent came home later and I didn't even mention it at first. His reaction would mean everything. But when I did, I sobbingly told him and I even apologized for some reason and he just said, it'll all work out, we will be fine. I instantly believed him. We aren't sure about insurance and we will have to get a bigger car but it will all be fine. 

Brent's reaction meant everything to me. If he would have said, this sucks but it'll all work out I would have went into more of a panic mode. But he realized instantly that this was a blessing from our Heavenly Father. I'm blessed to have a husband who sees those things when I'm overwhelmed and blinded. We told Brent's parents and his mom sent a nice email and in it she said, "You will definitely have your hands full but perhaps the spirits that have been waiting to come to your family are just not willing to wait any longer.  You'll manage the addition to your family and enjoy a new sweet spirit when he or she comes in August." I've loved this and have read it many times. 

I've worried about what others would say, it seems like everyone has an opinion. But I'm trying to not care. Because we have been blessed with 2 beautiful and healthy babies and a 3rd will be perfect too. Heavenly Father has a plan for us and we will gladly follow it! 

Motherhood is the greatest and hardest calling in my life. I'm exhausted, tired, and half the time I probably smell from lack of showers or showering and forgetting to use soap because I have 2 little people lurking. But I'm also happy, and overwhelming blessed by these spirits that have been entrusted in our care.